Chandler, Arizona
Sweet Pea ​Births
Sweet Pea ​Births
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
Blog
Just Tell Me
Posted on February 28, 2017 at 9:39 AM |
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I was reminded again yesterday how prevalent the stigma still is around the struggle after a baby is born: baby blues, postpartum depression, onset of anxiety in the postpartum period... The transition into motherhood is hard. The first child is pretty shocking, even if you have a good support system. Nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming emotion and experience of holding a helpless newborn, the blood that is dripping out of you for the next few weeks, and then learning to breastfeed on top of all that. It is doable, and people have been doing it for generations, so you know in your head it's possible...but your body is screaming WTF just happened here. On top of all this, is the pressure from society to pretend that nothing happened. Bounce out of bed with full make-up, pose for some pictures, host everyone who wants to come meet the baby, and fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes by the time the six-week check up comes around or you are a slug who just can't get it together. As you add Sweet Peas to your family, there is still an adjustment period. The love happens - you will have enough. The adjustment for me was learning how to manage the time and the house with 2+ children. A wise woman once told me, "Lower your expectations every time and you will do great." Another wise woman reminded me, "They are not all two at the same time." More on those topics another day...back to the topic at hand. An older woman asked me why I write about postpartum so much...her generation just got on with it. She asked me why this was such "a thing" for women of this day and age. My answer is I DON'T KNOW. Is it the food we are eating that doesn't support the hormonal shift as well as it used to? Is it that we know now that drinking and smoking are not the best stress relievers for mothers of newborns?Is it the pressure of social media to "fakebook" and we are speaking up to say, "not today"? Is is the age of the internet that allows us to gather information and know that we are not alone? I have no idea. My point today is, it is okay to ask for help if you need it. Maybe you don't need help. Maybe you had a satisfactory birth experience and your support network is amazing and enlightened and you are doing great. Yeah!! Bonus points for you. (and I don't believe you) There are also GOLD STARS waiting for you if you are able to say two of the hardest words, HELP ME. I just read an affirmation today that really sparked me along with running into some friends who reminded me just how important postpartum care is to families who are struggling: "It is healthy for me to say what I need and accept help". When your childbirth educator, doula, midwife or anyone else in your life you cares about you calls you and asks how you are doing, for your own sake, tell us the truth!! We expect to hear, "I'm fine!" "Things are great!" "All good!" What we are listening for are the in-betweens: the pauses, the crack in your voice, the tiredness as you speak. We have been there - we know it is hard - we know it's an adjustment, and we want to help you. We will try to find a way to see you if we are concerned. So just make it easier for us to help you - tell us without shame, because we have been there, too. Please tell the people who ask you and want to be there for you what you need. We will show up and we will support you in any way we can as you make the transition from maiden to mother. It is okay - you are still a great mom. |
Doula Services
Posted on February 21, 2017 at 9:55 AM |
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Q&A with SPB: How do I find a care provider that supports natural birth?
Posted on October 4, 2016 at 5:14 PM |
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A question that came up in our Friday night class was, "How do we know if our doctor supports natural birth?" Here are some questions to ask to find out: Here are the questions with a little more detail: 1) How do you feel about natural birth? If you ask, "Do you support natural birth?" you will probably get a "yes" answer because they want your business and/or they want to make you happy. Asking "how do you feel about" gets them to talk more about their beliefs and basic understanding of how a natural birth works in a hospital setting. 2) What has been your experience with couples who want a natural birth? If you hear rave reviews, yeah! I offer a follow up question, "How many of your couples who prepare for a natural birth end up with what they wanted?" A vaginal birth rate of around 85% is typical for a provider that supports hands-off birthing...how many of those are unmedicated versus medicated depends on the practice. Some providers may be "natural birth tolerant", so while they don't practice a "hands off" approach, they also don't interfere when a couple is following a natural birth plan. They may have a more middle-of-the road, "we'll see how it goes" attitude when you ask this question. If the care provider is skeptical or outright dismissive, that is your sign that you may need to "break up" with your care provider. Even if it is the doctor your family has been going to for years. Check-in and ask what their vaginal and cesarean birth rates are for a follow-up question. If the cesarean birth rate is higher than 30%, your chances are much higher of receiving interventions than if your provider takes a "Wait and see" approach to the birth journey. 3) What do you recommend for natural birth preparation? If they have had patients have natural births before and/or if they are in touch with the birth community (childbirth educators, doulas), they may have an idea about what their patients in the past have used to prepare. If they give you a blank stare...red flag!! They really don't know what the options are...which may lead back to the question, "How many of your patients have had intentional natural births?" Speaking of red flags, here are the two red flag statements I teach to all our students:
Those phrases indicate that your provider has rules about how you are going to birth. If you fall out of their range of normal, which may or may not be evidence-based, you are going to be forced to birth their way. I encourage you to find out more about what "their way" means. If they are going to set time limits or set expectations, do your own research to see if their parameters are evidence-based or practice-based, i.e., "How did you determine that rule for your patients?" And you can also check the links below for some reliable research sources for evidence-based information about birth. Ideally, your provider will not set time limits or rules AS LONG AS mom is okay and baby is okay. As long as both appear to be doing well via monitoring and observation, then birth is probably progressing as it meant to be *for them*. Each birth is unique. If, God forbid, your birth has an unexpected variation or complication, you want to be sure that you trust your care provider explicitly. If they are in a situation where they need to make a life-saving choice for you and/or your baby, you want to know that you are hiring a person that works in alignment with your beliefs and your wishes. In closing, don't be afraid to trust your instinct. Find the care provider that makes sense for your family - there are no "do-overs" in birth. As you prepare to meet your Sweet Pea on their Birth-Day, choose a care provider choice that you trust and that trusts you back. Links for more reading: Taking charge of your maternity care Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Consumer Reports: What to REJECT when you are expecting Consumer Reports: Your biggest [cesarean birth] risk may be your hospital Disclaimer: The material included in this video is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog and video contain information about
our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official
website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this video and on our
blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. Birthing From Within and Bradley Method® natural childbirth
classes offered in Arizona: convenient to Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert,
Mesa, Scottsdale, Payson |
Birth Plans for Siblings
Posted on February 18, 2016 at 10:59 PM |
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We have the fortunate situation where our alumni ask to come back to take a refresher course when they are preparing for their next children. When these couples take a class together, we still follow the same course outline because the material makes sense in a different way now that they have a reference point for what they are learning. We also add a little section to each class to talk about sibling preparation. This fall, we are going to devote some of our Tuesday posts to some of the material we are sharing with them "just in case" it may come in handy for some of our readers, too. The transition from one child to two children was the hardest for us. We didn't know how the family dynamics were going to go. Would our oldest feel abandoned when we left for the hospital? Would she feel betrayed when we brought a new child home? Would we have time for her? And how about the new baby? Would we be able to bond with them and still meet the needs of our oldest child? One of the things we did to reassure our oldest and give her some sense of what to expect was to create a visual birth plan for her. I didn't take a picture of it - who knew I would be teaching sibling preparation some day?? Two points to consider: 1. What do they need to know to feel secure? The simpler, the better. 2. How can you portray those ideas visually for non-readers? You could find pictures on the internet, have them make the drawings, cut out pictures from magazines, or use pictures from their birth to illustrate the ideas that are important to your family. Here is a rough idea : the Baby Mommy, Daddy and Baby will come home in a few days If you are ready for more sibling preparation ideas, click HERE. How did you prepare older children for a sibling's arrival? Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and
posted. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
New service: Birth Story Listening
Posted on January 22, 2016 at 8:55 AM |
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I am so excited and honored to share that I am starting to offer Birth Story Listening sessions. This work allows me to sit with mothers and allow them to share their birth story in a new way. Maybe a woman has unresolved questions about a previous birth. Maybe she feels "stuck" in her last birth. Maybe she is ready to process an aspect of her birth that she doesn't like to think about. If any of these, or other, scenarios apply to the way that you think (or don't want to think) about a birth journey, then maybe a quiet time to reflect and share is something to consider. I am offering these sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Modern Mommy Boutique. I have two starting times available. You can choose from a 6:30 pm or a 7:00 pm start time, allowing me to do one session/evening. What to expect: You will receive my full, undivided attention. Due to the nature of this work, please make childcare arrangements for your Sweet Peas. We will spend one-hour together. I will make you some tea. You will share your story with me, and through this work you will unearth a new understanding for you to take home about your birth story. I have completed the training and have been approved to offer these sessions by Birthing From Within®. I am asking $40/session for this work. The intention is that after one session you will walk away with a new perspective about your story that will nourish and sustain you as we continue this journey called "life". Very rarely are two sessions needed. It would be an honor to sit with you and help you discover a new story about your birth journey. Please email, call or text me to reserve your time. Blessings, Krystyna 602.684.6567 cell or text |
Wordless Wednesday: Cesarean Awareness Month
Posted on April 8, 2015 at 6:10 PM |
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There are no mommy wars on this page. Every birth is acknowledged, as our tag line is, "Celebrating every Sweet Pea and their birth." However your child enters the world, it is the day of their birth, as well as the birth of a Mother and Father. If you need help processing your birth, please email me at krystyna{at}sweetpeabirths{dot}com and I would be happy to send you a resource list. Cesareans: This Coach still got to cut the cord - you can preserve some elements of your birth plan, even if it plays out differently than you prepared for. Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC): SPB students working through VBAC labor ICAN of Phoenix leader and baby* ICAN of Phoenix leader, husband and VBAC baby* We celebrate ALL births at Sweet Pea Births - ALL Birth-Days are the first day of your family's life. That is not to say there is not grief or sorrow for a birth that doesn't go as expected - we hope and pray that with time, glimmers of joy can be gleaned from your birth experience. If you had a cesarean birth, we invite you to find an ICAN support group in your area, and then prepare for a VBAC if that is a choice that works for your family. Thank you to our students and friends who sent pictures to share today...there is so much to say about cesareans...we'll leave these pictures with you today and share words and thoughts throughout the month.
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Birth Story: Marathon Labor
Posted on January 23, 2015 at 9:45 AM |
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Christine & BJ Bollier Bradley Method© Birth Story This story is a great example of making your wishes known,
persevering through a long labor that stalled (The Bradley Method® calls “the stall”, aka
“failure to progress”, a “Natural Alignment Plateau” or "NAP"), and making decisions as the labor progressed for a Healthy Mom,
Healthy Baby birth experience. Even with
an intervention they did not initially want or anticipate, they were able to have the vaginal,
unmedicated birth they had prepared for. One of my favorite quotes from the video is Christine’s
statement, “I was tired, but I was never scared, because I knew what to
expect.”
Here is a quick summary of their labor: She started with contractions around 15 minutes
apart on a Thursday morning. They went
to their doctor’s appointment that afternoon and decided to go home and let their
labor progress. On Friday, they were timing contractions throughout the
day. When they got to five minutes apart,
they decided to go to the hospital because of the impending blizzard (they live
in Payson, AZ). By the time they were
all checked into their room, it was 2:30 am on Saturday. By Saturday evening at 6:00 pm, they hit a NAP
at around 8 cm dilation. They made the
decision to accept an amniotomy (breaking the bag of waters) at 10:00 pm. Their son was born on Sunday morning at 3:30
am. When the Bollier's time their labor, they call it 36 hours from the
contractions that were 6 minute apart on Friday afternoon to the time when he was born on Sunday morning. They both stayed awake for the whole of that time, save a few cat naps that happened between contractions when they were both exhausted. It is good to note that they did sleep on Thursday night when contractions were still in the "putsy-putsy" stage. I am so glad she talks about how she experienced contractions
– that’s a big question mark for first-time moms. Christine says she felt them as rhythmic and
internalized them – she says she could have painted you a picture of the
contractions. I love that perspective! HIGHLIGHTS Birth plan
Changing the Plan
Christine’s Insight: Q: What did BJ do as a Coach that helped you the most? A: He kept me from freaking out when it had gone on for so
long. As she explains, he kept her on track through the
exhaustion. BJ kept her calm with reassurance; he also pointed out the progress they had made. Loosely paraphrasing: [The hard part] wasn’t the pain – it was the exhaustion. I knew the pain was purposeful because
I was getting a baby. [Contractions] came in bursts and they were
not constant - it wasn’t miserable pain or constant pain from an injury that hurts all the time. Looking back a year later, [a contraction] was such a short period of time. BJ’s nuggets of wisdom Education & knowledge quell fear – having notes at
my fingertips kept me from getting scatterbrained while I was watching
(coaching) my wife through labor. Postpartum advice for the husbands: Don’t be proud – just say
yes. Don’t be too proud to accept help –
it’s a gift. On the lighter side, you’ll hear the inauguration of the
term “The Splash Zone” – now that we know our student’s perception of watching
all the birth videos from the first row of chairs, it’s what we call that front
line when we show birth videos in class - lol. QUESTIONS FROM THE CLASS: Q: Were you both awake the whole [36 hours of progressive
labor]? A: Yes…If I had it to do over again – we would rest throughout
labor. You’ll hear it in class that you
should rest. Seriously – REST. After the baby is born, you are playing
catch-up with sleep. Q: What can you tell us about breastfeeding a newborn? A: Get your hands on reading material, borrow books, have phone
numbers of support people you can call, have a good structure around you to
encourage, inspire, and inform you. Invest in good bras – wear a tank top with shirt underneath
at this age (son is about 11 months old in this video), after the infant stage
the nursing cover is not staying on! Did you have a long labor?
What labor management tips would you share with first-time parents? Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and
posted. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Birth Story: Penelope
Posted on January 9, 2015 at 9:12 AM |
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It’s birth story day!!
This week I am sharing a birth story from our Fall 2012 class. In today's video, Courtney is talking about her family's birth journey
with our Winter 2012-13 class. Jake was working, so Courtney shares his words of wisdom for coaches, too. Here is their
backstory:
How their birth journey progressed:
In Courtney's own words: You Tube link: http://youtu.be/TePr1aqKezg Video Highlights: Note: Looking back, Courtney was so grateful she advocated for a longer pregnancy. One of the biggest concerns about gestational diabetes is that babies are larger than average. At birth (40 weeks gestation), their baby weighed 6 pounds, 9 ounces and measured 21 inches long. This is clearly *not* a baby that would be called “large for gestational age” when you consider the average birth weight for a term baby is about 7.5 pounds. Which labor tools worked for you to manage the intensity?
What would Jake (husband) say if he were here?
Some images from their birth:
PostScript: Courtney and her husband Jake were the last couple that
enrolled in that class series with a last-minute phone call, “We really need to
get into this class!” You would be
hard-pressed to find a birth worker who would say no to them!! It is so humbling to hear that saying yes to
them when we had a full class already made a big difference for their birth. I
praise God for His wisdom and His incredible design. What did you learn from your birth journey? Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and
posted. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Monday Mantra: Gift of Birth
Posted on May 5, 2014 at 2:18 AM |
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A couple of birth stories have really brought to mind a mantra that was so beneficial to Bruss and I when we were laboring with Otter: "We will give our baby the gift of the birth that she needs." It was so important to us that we have undisturbed time, free of the pressure of "the clock" for things to happen, free of vaginal exams that have always been difficult for me due to past trauma, and most of all - we wanted to be free of any interventions. Believe it or not, even though we were birthing at home, there were things our midwives were prepared to offer us to help "speed things up". We asked the two most important evaluation questions, "Is Mom okay? Is Baby okay?" Once we were assured that we were both laboring beautifully with no signs of distress, we politely declined and kept on the course to birth - no interventions, no exams, no time pressure. We knew that the best Birth-Day present we could give her was an undisturbed birth. Although it took a heck of a lot longer than we had anticipated since we were laboring out of the hospital (my labor always slowed when we transferred from our home environment to the planned hospital births), we were happy to give her just that: time, patience and the birth that she needed. How this mantra applies to your story is going to be unique and individual. I would love to hear what you did to give your baby the birth that (s)he needed. What did you do to give your baby the birth that (s)he needed? Please leave a comment below - it will be moderated and posted. Want to read Otter's birth story? It's in two parts - startHERE The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Marshall Family Cesarean Story
Posted on April 11, 2014 at 10:10 AM |
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Annika and Danial were students in our Spring 2013 class. As with all of our students, they prepared using The Bradley Method in order to have a natural childbirth. What are the circumstances that led to your cesarean birth? Danial and I were made aware that our son was breech at our 39 week check up with our midwife. We were then advised that we needed to go see an OBGYN at St Joe's to see if an external eversion was an option for us as the chances of Landan turning on his own that late in the pregnancy was very very slim. After being seen by the OBGYN and getting an ultrasound, the decision was made that it would be safe for the Landan and I to undergo an attempt for an external eversion to try and flip Landan head down. We were then admitted to St. Joe's and Dr. Medchill attempted multiple times (at my insistence) to turn Landan externally. After the 5th eversion attempt Dr. Medchill advised us that Landan was not going to flip and that we needed to decide what we wanted to do. At that point in his professional opinion, the chances of Landan flipping naturally were less then 2% as I was 39 1/2 weeks along and there wasn't much room left for him to move. He gave us the option to schedule the C section later that night or we could come back in a week and have a c section. Were there any questions that you asked of your care provider to inform your decision to have a cesarean birth? Danial and I were very insistent on knowing the odds of Landan turning on his own and the different risks associated with doing an external eversion. Since we had been planning on having Landan in a birthing center the option of possibly having a c-section really had not entered our minds until then. We were lucky enough to know at what point do we really start to consider the option of having a c section as viable. After attempting an external cephalic version (ECV) 5 times, the focused shifted from really trying to obtain our natural birth to what is going to be the best option for myself and for Landan as well. That's when Danial and I really decided that a c-section was going to be the best and safest option for myself and for Landan as we would not want to deliver Landan naturally as a breech. What did your intuition tell you about your decision? My intuition at that point was that after going through the amount of pain that I was going through by doing the versions (ECV), all I wanted was to see and hold my baby and make sure that he was ok. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for him to have four people trying to rearrange you in such a tiny space. What stands out about your birth - was there anything you remember clearly about the experience? I remember clearly feeling oddly at peace however I don't really think I understood clearly what exactly was going on as I was on such overload from all the eversions. Having a c section is a very odd and very sterile experience but when you are laying there all you can think about is hearing your baby cry and seeing your baby that you don't really notice the other things around you. I will say though my Dr was absolutely wonderful and treated us with such respect in that he really was delicate about the entire experience and he knew that this was not our first choice for a birth. Which personal strengths did you bring to the experience? What were your partner's strengths that he brought to the experience? Danial was very calm and collected about the entire experience which definitely helped me. I feed off his energy and having him there telling me that everything was going to be ok and holding my hand was all the strength I needed to get through the versions (ECV) and then through the c-section. What would you tell someone who was going to have a cesarean about a cesarean birth? How about the postpartum period? C-Sections are scary. Theres no getting around that fact. It is major abdominal surgery and anyone that tells you that it isn't a big deal is LYING straight through their teeth. However, if you do have a c section it isn't the end of the world and your fate for your preceding births isn't sealed. You are going to need help during the postpartum period. There is a lot of pain and your movement is very restrictive due to you having stitches so TAKE IT EASY. If your spouse can take a couple more days off work then DO IT. You are absolutely going have to take it easy. Oh and DO NOT FORGET THE STOOL SOFTENERS!!!!!!! Do you have any advice to share with current SPB students? If so, what would it be? The best advice I can give to current students is really listen to the doctors, but also know what questions to ask. If the writing in on the wall that a c-section is the only safe option for both mom and baby then feel confident in your decision. You have to protect the well being of your child and at the same time you help to protect your well being as well. There absolutely is nothing shameful in that. A huge thank you to Annika for taking the time to share her cesarean story for our students and readers! What words of wisdom would you share with a pregnant mama about your cesarean experience? The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
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