Chandler, Arizona
Sweet Pea ​Births
Sweet Pea ​Births
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
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Q&A with SPB: Can I put sunscreen on my baby?
| Posted on May 24, 2016 at 10:02 AM |
comments (48)
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Most of us start spending more time in the sun as the weather warms up. In the United States, Memorial Day weekend is our summer kick-off. Most families and facilities consider this "open pool" weekend...which means sunscreen time for mindful parents. Here is VLOG I did last year about sunscreens: Summary: NO if your baby is under 6 months old - their skin is less mature, they have a higher surface-area to body-weight ratio
compared to older children and adults...this increases their risks to the side effects of the chemicals in sunscreens. Imagine this: everything you put on their skin is absorbed straight into their bloodstream! Since you can't use sunscreen, check out the link to our favorite sun protective clothing in our archive post. YES if your baby is over 6 months of age. As a green living advocate, we encourage you to find the safest product for your Sweet Pea to put on their skin...check out the EWG sunscreen guide below! For more reading, check out these links: Sun Safety for Sweet Peas from our blog archive - find an infographic, plus links to Sun Precautions and Kellymom.com (hydration + EBF babies) in this post FDA Consumer Guide - read about what sunscreens can and can't advertise - make sure yours is on the up&up EWG Sunscreen Guide - my go-to resource to find the safest products on the market for our Sweet Peas There is an interesting challenge that comes with the use of sunscreen...and that is depriving our children of very needed Vitamin D. Out solution is to get the kiddos outside without sunscreen during the early morning or late afternoon when the sunlight is indirect. For prolonged exposure (i.e., hiking, swimming) I insist they cover their face and neck with a sunscreen. We save the full-body slathering for peak sun time...technically from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm. In AZ, I count it until the sun starts to set, just because the sun is so strong here. I will insist they wear it into the evening hours if they are going to be playing sports, simply because the prolonged exposure will burn their skin, even if the sporting event starts in the late afternoon hours. What is your best sun safety tip? comments will be moderated and posted :) Disclaimer: |
Just Hold the Baby
| Posted on April 1, 2016 at 10:57 AM |
comments (3)
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I had the pleasure of seeing Dr. Nils Bergman speak last summer. He is the director of NINO Birth, which stands for "Neuroscience for Improved Neonatal Outcomes." He is doing research and connecting the dots between other researchers' work that confirms a mother's instinctual need to keep her baby with her. Based on his observations of birthing mammals, Dr. Bradley came to the same conclusion: the best things for baby is to be skin-to-skin on the mother's chest, and the best food for infants is breastmilk. Since we are fascinated with science and some doctors can't be convinced without it, it is awesome to have Dr. Nils out there spreading his message. Thanks to his research, he can be even more specific about the benefits to both mother and baby. You can find his website with his research and advice to new parents HERE. There are also pages dedicated specifically to parents of preemies. (IMO the whole website should be required reading for parents and care-providers alike!!) The foundation of his message is that after a birth (even of a premature baby), the mother and the infant should have 1000 minutes of uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact. YES - that's 16 hours and 40 minutes of a mother and her infant snuggled together, without interruption. Now, practically speaking, the first hour should be skin-to-skin with the mother. After that, if mom has to use the restroom or wants a quick shower, then the other parent can do skin-to-skin with baby, reuniting the MotherBaby as soon as possible. In a nutshell, the benefits of continuous skin-to-skin contact for the MotherBaby are that bonding and breastfeeding get off to a good start. For the infant, sleep cycling starts to get organized, temperature is regulated, and blood sugars are stabilized. All this just when the MotherBaby is supported in staying in continuous contact. For me, the most startling thing that Dr. Nils stated when he shared his research is the profound effect continuous contact also has on the mother. He says that she becomes "brain-wired for ferocity", the natural instinct to protect and provide for her baby, when she and baby stay together. It is small wonder then that mothers who are separated from their infants for any period of time have a harder time making milk for those infants, and sometimes feel a huge disconnect between themselves and their children. So, YES, this means that all a mother should do after the birth of her baby is stay in bed with the baby. YES this means that it is okay to delay making an announcement on social media until the day after the baby is born to allow the MotherBaby to get organized. YES, anyone who tells you otherwise can be ignored. As long as mother is okay and baby is okay, there is no reason for anyone else other than the mother and the other parent to be touching and holding the baby. Baths, newborn procedures, and any other pokes and prods can be delayed until the first 1000 minutes have passed. As cute as your Sweet Pea is, and as much as some visitors may long to hold them when they have that precious, just-out-of-the-womb smell, just say no. There is plenty of time for friends and family to come hold the baby after you get home, when you will want help with meals and laundry. They can hold the baby then, while you grab a nice, hot shower. Until then, claim your inner MamaBear and hold your baby. Disclaimer: The material included in this blog is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about
our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official
website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this video and on our
blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®.  |
Inside Look: East Valley Infant Massage
| Posted on February 5, 2016 at 8:46 AM |
comments (339)
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 I met Michelle Cordero last year when we both participated in PB&J Events' Pregnancy + Baby Fair. She is a wealth of information about infant massage, an amazing tool to help parents bond with their Sweet Peas. Infant massage can also help with common hurdles in the childbearing year: fussy tummies, teething, and bonding with siblings, to name a few. What makes Michelle's classes unique is that she is willing to work with families who have toddlers. Most Infant Massage classes only welcome families with non-mobile children, making you ineligible once your Sweet Pea is 6-months old. Not so with Michelle - since she is a licensed massage therapist, she is able to tailor classes especially to the group. I wish you enjoy this month's Inside Look with Michelle! Her contact information is at the end of the post if you want to enroll in an upcoming class, or take advantage of her FREE monthly intro classes. Tell me about East Valley Infant Massage. East Valley
Infant Massage (“EVIM”) provides private and group classes to
teach parents and caregivers how to massage their babies. I provide nurturing
touch skills to parents to impact children for a lifetime. What kind of clientele does EVIM serve? EVIM classes are
designed for parents and caregivers of infants and toddlers who want to include
a powerful tool in their care giving to help promote healthy bonding, growth
and development. Parents with babies who have tummy issues report that regular
massage has been helpful in minimizing digestion discomforts. Regular massage
also promotes better sleep and relieves other issues such as teething and
congestion. What age range of client does this service
care for? Is there anything you do not provide for? Our typical class participants range from 3 weeks
old to pre-crawling, mostly because we then have a captive audience. We do
welcome children up to around 3 years of age, but the more mobile the child,
the more creative we have to get in class. It makes for an interesting
session! Even though I am also a licensed massage
therapist and can massage the babies myself, I do not provide the massage to
the baby directly (I bring demo dolls with me to class) because I want to
empower the caregiver with the skills to massage baby not only in class, but
long after. There are some interesting studies out there that show that infant
massage can help parents become more confident in their abilities as
parents. What makes EVIM unique? I tailor each class for the needs of the
participants. I'm currently working on adding new classes at different times of
the day/week to best accommodate moms and dads with different schedules.
Because not one time is perfect for all babies, I understand that sometimes baby
will be sleeping or fussy during class. I encourage participants to tend to
their babies' needs, such as feeding, changing or rocking baby while watching
the instruction. I always send parents home with great handouts to help them
practice at home and welcome any follow up questions (during the next class in
a series or by phone/email/text in case anything was missed during class. What motivated you to start EVIM? I have been a massage therapist for almost 14
years and have worked on clients of all ages, including babies and toddlers.
When I had my son 4 years ago, I joined different mom groups online and in
person and saw a lot of moms asking for help in different areas with their
babies, including sleeping issues, tummy problems and advice for helping dad and
siblings bond with baby. I knew that infant massage can help immensely in these
areas and more, so I decided to get my certification to teach infant massage to
parents to give them more tools to help their babies and their families. Is there anything else our readers should know
about EVIM? I'm often asked for the magic massage routine
that will make all babies sleep through the night or get rid of gassy tummies
completely. I wish I could say that there is one surefire way to accomplish
these things. However, I know that touch is a simple, yet powerful and
underutilized tool that can be added to routine care giving and can make a huge
difference for families. Even if baby is a relatively "easy" baby,
the family can experience many benefits from massage. I love to facilitate
those benefits for my class participants. What inspires you? Tough question, since I have many sources of
inspiration. My son and husband inspire me daily; as they remind me to slow
down, enjoy the day-to-day and find joy in simple pleasures. I'm also inspired
by those who do for others with no expectation of getting anything in
return. Michelle's contact informtation PHONE: 480-269-1531 EMAIL: [email protected] SOCIAL MEDIA: WHERE TO FIND MICHELLE: **Free
intro class for expectant parents at the Ahwatukee Babies"R"Us on the
2nd Thursday of the month
from 6-7 **Group
classes held at Modern Mommy. Check the website as new classes will be added soon. Disclaimer: The material included in this blog is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about
our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official
website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this video and on our
blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®.  |
Holiday Safety Tips
| Posted on November 27, 2015 at 4:39 PM |
comments (3)
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 This was first published in 2011 - sharing it again today since the holiday safety tips are still relevant. Click HERE if you would rather watch the VLOG instead of reading this post :)It’s the most wonderful time of the year… It is such a gift to enjoy this season with our
children. They are filled with wonder at
the sight of our Christmas tree. They
love to look at the ornaments, especially the ones with their pictures in
them. They are so excited about Santa
and presents and at the top of the list, the family coming to visit them from
all across the country. This year is especially poignant – like us, our older two
children recognize that this Otter’s first
Christmas. They wonder what she is
thinking as she sees the activity, and they are telling her all about the
family that she will be meeting for the first time. No matter what your faith, I encourage you to take the time
out of the hustle and bustle, the imposed rush of the season, to slow down and
enjoy this time of year with your children.
The root of the word holiday is “holy day”; so if your faith tradition
has a holiday this month, strive to make that the central focus instead of the
commercialism of the season. Get down on the floor with your children and look up at the
decorations you have put up in your home.
Tell your children the significance and why these symbols are important
to you. Take the time to tell them about
their first holidays in your family. If
this is your first holiday with your child, tell them your favorite childhood
holiday memory – you can keep this tradition going as they get older. Even if you have an infant, know that they
hear you and that you are imprinting their mind. Though they may not have a conscious memory,
you are helping to plant their roots that bind you together long after they
have children of their own. The season will be much more enjoyable if you take some
common sense precautions. I wish you all
a holiday away from the emergency room or urgent care. Here are the usual tips with my
modificaitons for families with mobile infants and toddlers. I am ever mindful that we now have students
who are parents to curious, mobile and walking one-year olds! - Use
ornaments that are not fragile, easily breakable, or that present choking
hazards. This is not the time to
break out your heirloom decorations.
Although they may not be as elegant, use adornments that can survive a
bounce and that won’t shatter and cut your child’s skin. Also keep in mind this tip: if it can fit
through an empty tube of toilet paper, it’s a choking hazard. We found some
lovely, larger ornaments at IKEA that are pretty, as well as safe and functional. Until our youngest children loose the
fondness for touching all the moving parts (most of which break off and fit
through that tube of t.p.), my collector series ornaments are safely stored for
a few more seasons. Speaking of
choking hazards, watch out for small gift bows, packing peanuts and other
packaging materials like twist ties and loose pieces of tape. Wrapping paper, ribbons and bows can also be
a suffocation hazard. - Hang
string lighting and place candles where little hands won't be able to reach. This seems self-explanatory. Remember that children are extremely curious
and very creative – think about how motivated they are to reach what you are
setting out, and make sure that you have lights and candles out of the reach of
a “stacking things so I can climb” child.
A note about candles: their fragrance may be overwhelming for
underdeveloped senses. The chemicals
used to create that fragrance are not regulated, which is another reason we personally
keep “the stink” out. We have no idea what is really causing that odor and
whether or not it’s good for us.
Flameless candles are easily found these days – they are a great way to
create ambience, thereby passing on the chemical or fire hazard component. - Check your electrical outlets and cords. Parents usually keep outlets covered with
safety caps. During this time of year,
you may pull them out to put in cords for string lighting. Make sure that you are aware of your children
around all the extra cords and open outlets.
Place the strings high enough so they don’t go in their mouths. Depending on how mobile and/or curious they
are, they may try to pull out the cords from the socket, which can also be an
electrocution risk. - Keep
poisonous plants out of reach. Speaking
of mouths…colorful plants might be a temptation to your child. After a cursory look at THIS LIST of plants, a rash or an upset stomach seem to be the main symptoms. Given a child’s smaller size and the fact
that each person’s reaction is individual and varied, it’s probably best not to
take any chances. - The force
of gravity does not take a vacation.
Evaluate your space and see where the safest places are for your
decorations and furniture so that your children will not run into them in the
normal course of their day. If you
rearrange furniture to accommodate decorations, make sure that the pieces are
not a tip-over hazard in their new location. If you move side tables, watch
their placement and don’t put anything to heavy or unstable on top of
them. If you move larger furniture, make
sure it is steady in its new position.
If you put up a Christmas tree, it can also be a tip-over hazard. You can secure it to a wall with an eye-hook
and twine, or block it off with a safety gate. Hot, hot,
hot – hot chocolate. I couldn’t resist the reference to the Polar
Express! Slow down and be aware in the
kitchen. Accidents happen - burns and
spills happen when we are rushing and when the kitchen is full of people. Take your time preparing and moving hot foods
and liquids. Be very aware of where your
children are, or maybe you can assign someone else to entertain them outside of
the kitchen if you are in charge of your holiday meal. Along the same
lines, children don’t know that tablecloths aren’t stationary – all they see is
something on which they can pull up. The
next thing you may hear is the crash of china and silver, or the screams of
pain if they are burned by food placed on top of the tablecloth or an
overhanging runner on a sideboard buffet.
You may want to skip on the tablecloths and runners and use placemats
and doilies for the time being. They
will grow up and you will deck out your holiday table again some day. I close with
this thought today: you may have seen our past posts about pregnancy and child loss. As
much as holidays are a time of joy, they are also a time of amplified sorrow
for families grieving the passing of a loved one. I invite you to take some time this season to
say a prayer for those families that have lost a loved one this year,
especially those whom have had their children called to the next journey. Their loss is ever present as they watch
other families enjoy the holidays and wonder what place their child may have played in their own holiday traditions. From our home
to yours, may you have a safe, blessed and joyous holiday season! Do you have any holiday
safety tips to share – what are they? Disclaimer: The
material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. We are now enrolling for our Spring Series March 11, 2016 to June 3, 2016 For more information or to register, please call us at 602-684-6567 or email us at [email protected] |
Upcoming Event: Baby Bonanza Showcase
| Posted on October 2, 2015 at 11:12 AM |
comments (178)
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Baby Bonanza Showcase Scottsdale WESTWORLD Saturday, October 3, 2015 from 9:30 AM to 2:30 PM Event details at the end of this post We are excited to participate in the second event hosted by PB&J Events that is specifically geared towards and designed for new and expecting parents. We had the pleasure of showing at their first event - so much fun that we are back again! We will be sharing information for families interested in having healthy pregnancies, as well as ideas for families who are interested in preparing for an unmedicated birth. We also encourage families to at least know what to expect and how to ask good questions so that if and when they want or need to use interventions or medication, they can make informed consent decisions. Now for the fun stuff...Mention FALL BONANZA for your choice of one of the following items when you stop by our table tomorrow:
What you see is what you get, so come see us early and grab what you want from our fan giveaway box :) I will also be raffling off two copies of Rhondda Evans Hartman's new book, Natural Childbirth Exercises. You can fill out one entry at our table, and I will be raffling off the second book at the end of my seminar presentation.  And last but not least, please come get one of these beautiful natural birth mantra cards created by Jon Garza, an SPB alumni, with one of my favorite Rhondda quotes:  From the organizer: PB&J Events and Promotion is happy to announce its second Babies Bonanza Showcase & Expo, targeting new and expecting parents on Saturday Oct. 3 inside the 120,000 square foot North Hall of Westworld in Scottsdale. It is the largest baby expo in Phoenix providing information and products useful to new parents. The Babies Bonanza Showcase & Expo provides a day where parents can prepare from planning to prenatal to preschool. The event, FREE and open to the public, will feature between 150 – 200 exhibitors showcasing their products and services. Expo highlights include:
Get FREE Tickets (Click HERE) WHAT: Baby Bonanza Showcase 16601 North Pima Road Scottsdale, AZ 85260 WHEN: Saturday, October 3, 2015 from 9:30 AM to 2:30 PM The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
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Q&A with SPB: Self-Care for Mamas
| Posted on April 28, 2015 at 3:01 PM |
comments (28)
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We have spent a lot of the month sharing information about cesarean birth, VBAC, and CBAC...  Ready for some pampering and renewal? Some TLC?? We are excited to announce that our friends Blue Russ and Jennifer Hoeprich are teaming up to host a Magical Mother's Day for mamas in the Phoenix, AZ area. Jennifer stopped by to visit with us...here is a little more about their event coming up next month. Join them on Saturday, May 30th, in Mesa, for six hours of AWESOME. This is a local retreat designed with busy mamas in mind. They will be pampered with professional foot massages after choosing the flower petals, salts, and essential oils you want for your super luxurious foot bath bar. You will be tapping into our own unique gifts as mothers and honoring yourself, with a relaxing guided imagery session, as well as creating an intention for mothering over the next year, and taking action through inspiring vision boarding. And, of course, there will be delicious, organic FOOD! Believe it or not, all of this is offered at a partner-lovin’ price of just $147. If you are thinking you want a double-dose of restoration and renewal, check out THIS event happening in the fall. If you want a super-special Mother's Day gift, your family can purchase the Magical Mama Retreat weekend happening in Arcosanti this November in advance, and you will receive the Magical Mother's Day for free. I hope you can make it to one or both events and return to your family renewed and recharged. I have met with Blue and Jennifer individually - and the results were amazing. I can't even imagine having them both together for the day or the weekend - it will definitely be time well spent! Disclaimer: |
The Parent Resource List
| Posted on March 6, 2015 at 6:28 AM |
comments (298)
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We have a discussion/communication time in every Bradley™ class session. Towards the end of the series, we ask, "What else do you need/want to learn before your Sweet Pea arrives?" Our Winter Class came up with the most varied list that we have had in a long time. There is a lot of information rattling around in my head after parenting and teaching for the last ten years, so I prepared this list for them and sent it out after class. Since the work was done, I also wanted to share it with you. Please leave us a comment if your favorite resource in these categories is not listed. We are always glad to learn about more places that encourage and support growing families. Baby/Toddler/Children’s Food
 Baby Massage
 Baby Sign Language Note: I personally do not believe in "baby" sign language. ASL is a language, and I believe it should be taught well *and* correctly. We do not change the language we verbally speak, because infants eventually learn how to pronounce words correctly. I passionately believe the same is true for ASL - show your child the correct signs, and they will make their own modifications until they can do it well, and then they will have it as a tool for the rest of their lives.
Breastfeeding
 Cloth Diapers
Bradley Method® natural childbirth classes offered in Arizona: Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert, Mesa, Scottsdale, PaysonDevelopmental Milestones
 Dunstan Baby Language(Baby Sounds)
First Children And Growing Your Family
Patience & Self-Discipline What is your go-to resource as a parent?
Disclaimer: It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
The Birth-Day...Then Parenting!
| Posted on January 6, 2015 at 1:05 AM |
comments (58)
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We are four weeks into our winter series - it is so exciting to be getting to know eight amazing couples in person...and this series, we have the pleasure of welcoming back on of our Spring 2013 couples as they prepare for Baby #2...from Canada!! The internet and web-chat rock!! Today's post was inspired by a question that was asked right before we dismissed class on Friday night. One of our students asked, "Is there a list of questions that can help us prepare to be parents?"  Bruss and I often quip that we could teach another set of classes after the Birth-Day. What we teach for childbirth preparation is valuable, and there is definitely more than enough to share over twelve weeks to prepare for a healthy pregnancy and the birth journey.The fact remains that the Birth-Day is just the beginning of a lifelong journey as parents!! We could definitely do another twelve-week course that focuses on parenting... And that still would not be enough. Parenting is something that evolves over time, and with each child that is welcomed to the family. I took a look at the list of questions that we created when we got a similar request two years ago. Now that we have been parents for 730 more days, we were able to add a second page to the list! As our children have grown, so have we. We have had many more negotiations about what we value as a family. Bruss and I have had to discuss most of these questions already. As we celebrate our first child's tenth birthday this month, we know we are on the brink of discovering yet another set of questions. Page 3 will be written as we navigate life with a *gasp* tween! Some thoughts on parenting before I share our list:
Anytime we have followed our instinct, it has been rewarded with a sigh of relief that we pulled on a thread and followed it until we had an answer or a solution that fit our family. It is our hope and prayer that the same will be true for you.  So now for that list of questions...These are great conversation starters so you and your partner can try to find common ground. Just as you would for a business, we believe it is important to set the core values for your family so that you can parent as a united front. The first page was created with the intention of having these conversations during pregnancy or within the first year of establishing your family.  The second page is to glance at now. Pull it out again when your child starts doing organized activities or making connections at preschool and/or elementary school. The first five questions on our list are:
Ready for more discussion?? Click HERE for the complete list. There is no charge for the file - you are welcome to download it for your personal use. Please be kind and link back to this post/ cite our webpage if you would like to share it. Come visit us again next Tuesday, when we share ideas about managing the first few weeks after the birth-day with your newborn!! What are ways you and your partner established the groundwork for your growing family? Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and
posted. *I absolutely do not believe in physical punishment/discipline, or any kind of physical contact with the child that violates them. We believe that a child is whole human being from the day they are born, due full respect for their bodily integrity and physical, emotional and spiritual safety. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Breastfeeding+AP = Transformation Central
| Posted on July 31, 2014 at 9:36 AM |
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Our desire and preparation for a natural birth confirmed the
decision to breastfeed our Sweet Pea. In
turn, breastfeeding opened the door to attachment parenting, which has
transformed me as a person. Before we had children, I was one of those people who
believed in child-free spaces. I liked living for me, and being in the
spotlight. There was not a thought for
what I would do with children because I just did not think that was going to be
part of my story. When Puma was still a newborn, a friend asked me, “What have
you learned since becoming a parent?” My
answer: “How selfish* I used to be.” The kind of selfish that I discovered in myself was the “me,
me, me, all about me” variety. Life
before Sweet Peas entailed getting myself to work, going to yoga classes,
traveling on a whim as well as planned vacations, cooking delicious food that
took hours to prepare for Coach Bruss and I, or the two of us would go out to
dinner wherever and whenever we wanted.
It was a good life.  We got married, we wanted children, and we weren’t sure if
we would be having biological children or if we would be adopting. As it turned out, we were able to conceive a
child and carry her to term with my well-controlled thyroid condition. We had a suspicion that our lives were going
to change. As new parents, we could not even begin to imagine the changes a
child would bring to our relationship, or what “family” meant. My transformation began while we labored with her. Then, in the wee small hours of the morning on
January 25, 2005, Puma entered our
world, wide-eyed and observant. The
first time I put her to my breast and looked into her eyes, I fell in love in
such a way that I could not have even imagined.
For the rest of my life, I will strive to do my best for this child, and
for every child that joined our family after her.  Attachment Parenting (“AP”) is a philosophy of child
rearing that respects children as whole, unique, individual human beings. Children are treated with love and respect,
as whole people traveling in little bodies.
I believe that it is our role as parents is to honor the child-person
first and foremost; and parent with the long-term goal of growing a child in
love who can operate as a whole, unbroken and joyful adult. By starting off as a breastfeeding MotherBaby, I learned our
children’s cues and had a better insight into their emotional states. That relationship has evolved as they weaned,
and now there is some mother’s intuition as well as observation that comes into
play, and it helps me be a better parent.
I am more confident as a parent because I “know” our children. When our children need guidance and boundaries, as all
children do, we do our best to guide them with love and respect. There are days when we are all tired – we
make an effort to breathe. That bond
forged through breastfeeding inspires me to try harder to be a good mother for
them. I work harder to be a better person because I want to earn
their respect. I work harder to breathe
and stay calm because they do not deserve the brunt of my temper. I work harder to pray, lead a life of
spirituality, and respect for a Divine Creator, because I want to leave them a
legacy of peace in their hearts. I do my
best to be a good steward in the world around us, because God-willing, they are
going to walk this earth long after I am gone – I want it to be a good one. When I do make a mistake, I ask for their forgiveness. Just because they are small in stature does
not mean they are not deserving of an apology, or that they feel things at a
diminished level. And so the circle of
love continues, with all parties aware that we are all human, and that trust
and respect are the highest priority in our relationship. There is a memory that stands out in my mind from a fall
evening in 2011, right after Otter was born.
Coach Bruss was sitting on the couch in our family room, one of the Sweet
Peas lying on his lap. Two of the Sweet
Peas were crashed out with pillows and blankets on the floor. I was sitting in our recliner with Otter,
having just nursed her to sleep. As we
looked at each other and our little brood, we just smiled, our hearts full and
bursting with joy. We could not have
imagined that our lives would be blessed with four children, all unique, all
independent; and here we were, a family of six. Since that day, we continue to grow in love and
experience. Being an AP parent is a
commitment and it takes time to guide a child vs. discipline a child. On hectic days, it would be "easier" to play the old tape of yelling and spanking.
However, thanks to the bond forged by breastfeeding, I cannot ever be
okay with hurting our children physically or emotionally, and for that, I am
eternally grateful. Love and respect all the way. How has breastfeeding affected you as a person? Please leave a comment – it will be moderated and posted.
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Life after the Birth-Day
| Posted on July 18, 2014 at 10:04 AM |
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Since we are between series right now, I do not have any
student questions to inspire our blog posts.
So I thought I would share this list of questions that I came up with
when a student asked for some guidance on how to develop their parenting style.  We joke in class that the 12-week series for childbirth preparation should segue way into a 12-week series about parenting. In reality, although there are lots of parenting books, there is NO parenting manual that will tell you how to parent your unique child. My personal mantra is to put away the book and read your child - they will tell you what you need to know about how to love them, nurture them and guide them into adulthood.Along the way, it helps if you and your partner are on the same page about what I would call the "big stuff". I am by no means a counselor or therapist, so as always,
these questions are offered in the spirit of providing a starting point for further
exploration. At the end of this post are
some resources if you feel that you do need professional help to aid you and
your partner resolve any conflicts you may have in your parenting style; or if like us, you simply want to enrich your marriage to be a strong union for your Sweet Peas. This is not a complete list. Feel free to add your own questions to the
discussions you have with your partner.
Let us know what helped you so we can refine our list for future students
and readers!
I hope these questions are a great starting point for you
and your partner. This is a long list, so
maybe you can print them, cut them into strips, and then take turns pulling
them out of a jar once a night/week/month; however long it takes you and that
you have the emotional wherewithal to discuss them calmly. If you would like additional resources for
mediation/counseling/marriage enrichment, here is a group we have used in
Gilbert, AZ:
If you would like to look up a therapist in your area,
Psychology Today offers a good search database.
Start HERE *NOTE: Sweet Pea Births does not support or believe in spanking, hurtful tickling or child abuse. These questions are offered to facilitate an honest discussion between co-parents. Did you add any questions to your discussion list? Tell us about them. Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and posted. Disclaimer: The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. We are now enrolling for our Fall 2014 series
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