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The Bradley Method® includes a class on how to handle those “bumps” so that parents are at least aware of what the variations and complications are, what the possible reasons are for them, and the options available to them should they encounter these situations. We also encourage our students to do additional reading on these situations – it is never good enough to take an instructors word on these, especially for the decisions that impact their child. It is important for students to decide how they would probably want to handle these possible variations and complications while there is time to consider all the options and make a thoughtful choice that they can fall back on in case a moment of decision and/or urgency does arise.
In addition, we encourage our couples to discuss their options with their care team. Each provider has a their own set of policies and protocols based on their experience as practitioners. It is important that your preferences match with the practice your care team employs so that you are able to work with them and have their support for your choices.
Our goal is to inform the parents, give them a basis for a conversation, encourage them to either write down their decisions or make a mental note, then file that information away and turn the focus back to having a normal, uncomplicated, low-risk pregnancy and labor.
Here is a great resource to help a couple do some emotional preparation for labor ~ http://www.birthingnaturally.net/encourage/encourage.html
There are several questions and thoughts to consider as you prepare for different aspects of pregnancy and labor. Again, the goal is to help you come to some conclusions, and then set forth an action plan if through the exercises you realize that there are any unresolved issues or aspects of your pregnancy and labor that you want to discuss with your care team. Once you face the different possibilities or the fears you might have and make a plan, the idea is to file away the information and focus on having the pregnancy and birth that you want for your family.
The one topic that is so hard to talk about and the situation that none of us want to face is pregnancy loss. There is an outside possibility that this joyous time of preparation and anticipation sometimes ends with a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of a healthy child due to unforeseen circumstances or events.
It is hard for me to get through this part of class without getting emotional. It is one of the fears I have and that I try to turn over in prayer during our pregnancies. If it is hard for me as the instructor, I can only imagine it is something hard for our students to face and talk about, too.
I provide this resource list today with the prayer that you (or anyone close to you) will never have to use it. On what I hope and pray is a very outside chance that something unthinkable happens, here are several organizations and providers that offer counseling, comfort and free services to support the grieving family.
Arizona Perinatal Loss Bereavement Resource
Banner Desert Medical Center
1400 S. Dobson Road, Mesa, 85202
Provides a network of support for those experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss. This resource gives parents a statewide network of support, current bereavement literature on a variety of topics, educational opportunities and resources in the community, state and national level.
The Compassionate Friends
The Compassionate Friends assists families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child at any age and to provide information to help others be supportive. They offer a safe place for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings to meet and talk freely about your child and your grief issues.
The M.I.S.S. Foundation provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving families through community volunteerism opportunities, public policy and legislative education and programs to reduce infant and toddler death through research and education.
M.E.N.D. Mother's Enduring Neonatal Death
M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is a Christian, non-profit organization that reaches out to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.
HAND Helping After Neonatal Death
HAND is a resource network of parents, professionals, and supportive volunteers that offers a variety of services throughout Northern California and the Central Valley.
SHARE Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc
The mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
They offer the free gift of professional portraiture and remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby. “The NILMDTS Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor their child. It is through Remembrance that a family can truly begin to heal.” They feel that these images serve as an important step in the family’s healing process by honoring their child’s legacy.
Placenta Encapsulation – Wendy Diaz, PBi™ PES
Her encapsulation services are free for bereaving mothers. Wendy will also add herbs to the capsules that help dry up the milk supply.
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.
Product Description from Amazon.com:
The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death affects thousands of U.S. families every year. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. This book strives to cover many different kinds of loss, including information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and other support persons can gain special insight. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide. If reading this book moves you to cry, try to accept this reaction. Your tears merge with those of other grieving parents.
A purpose of this book is to let bereaved parents know that they are not alone in their grief. With factual information and the words and insights of other bereaved parents, you can establish realistic expectations for your grief. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is meant to help you through these difficult experiences by giving you things to think about, providing suggestions for coping and encouraging you to do what you need to survive your baby's death. Whether your baby died recently or long ago, this information can be useful to you.
Disclaimer: The material included on this blog and this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. This blog and this site contain information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog and this site do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®.