Chandler, Arizona
Sweet Pea ​Births
Sweet Pea ​Births
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
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In Their Own Words: Erica ~ Part 2
Posted on August 31, 2017 at 9:53 PM |
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For Part I of Erica and Scarlett's breastfeeding journey, click HERE PART II: Making Breastfeeding Work at Work, and Beyond We had opted to co-sleep/bed-share from the beginning
for a variety of reasons (I couldn’t stand the thought of her crying and
needing me, I didn’t want to- and couldn’t at the beginning- get out of bed and
walk down the hall to her room, I had spent her first 5 days without her there
and I would never do that again…). Co-sleeping kept us close, and gave her the
freedom to nurse when she needed to. However, the regular pumping and all-night
nursing were causing me to produce a ton of milk, and she wasn’t using it all
at daycare. I couldn’t miss a single pumping session at school because I was so
engorged. But I was also paranoid of cutting back my pumping, losing my supply
and not being able to do the one thing that I ‘got’ after my birth. After
a couple of months of that, I was losing my mind. Not from breastfeeding; it was a compilation of everything else. I could barely function from exhaustion,
postpartum depression and anxiety, birth trauma resurfacing, not having enough
prep time at work (because of pumping) and feeling like I couldn’t do my job
well enough. The only times I felt calm and happy were when I would pick her up
from daycare and go home and sit on the couch and nurse. Nursing my baby kept
my sanity, and allowed us to check-in with each other. It helped bring me the
clarity to realize I needed to make a career transition so I could be the mom I
wanted to be. I found a job where I could work from home, got a long-term sub,
and didn’t go back to work after spring break. It was the best decision I ever
made. While
I was dealing with the career transition, Scarlett turned 6 months old, that “magic”
starting-solids age, per many different “experts”. I dipped my toes in those
waters, but I didn’t want to. I was scared it would affect our breastfeeding
relationship and it seemed like we’d just gotten good at it. I didn’t want it
to change. So, I didn’t really take “solids” seriously until she was a little
over 7 months old. By then I had an end-date with my job and I knew I would be
home soon. Also, she started giving me all the signs of being ready. She could
sit, she reached for my food, she didn’t do that tongue-sticking-out thing, she
could grab with her fingers (including other kids’ food at daycare). By the
time I was home and she was 8 months, she was eating a little food whenever we
did put some in front of her. It turned out I was worried for nothing. She
loved food, but still loved to nurse as well. Also, she didn’t nurse 3 times a
night anymore; it was only 2—yay for more sleep! Being
home with her allowed me to go back to nursing on demand, which felt so much
more natural! It also gave me the opportunity to donate the thousands of ounces
of milk that I had stockpiled in my deep freezer. I had always wanted to donate
since she had received donor milk in the NICU, but I was apprehensive about
letting any go before then because of the anxiety about losing my supply and
her needing it. Scarlett wasn’t using my frozen milk nearly as fast as I had
been producing it, so we could help three other babies around that time, and we
continue to regularly donate to her friend who is a few months younger than
her. Now that
she’s eating more at each meal, we have started nursing a little less. We nurse
when we wake up, after breakfast/before morning nap, after lunch/before
afternoon nap, at bedtime, and whenever else she may need a pick-me-up.
Occasionally she will still wake up once (or more) during the night if she
needs me, and I’m there for her when she does. I don’t pump regularly anymore,
which is a great relief! I still have quite a stockpile that we are donating
and it feels nice to be able to help others. A few
people have asked me if I’m going to keep nursing Scarlett now that she’s 1
(that “magic” number again). I tell them that I’ll nurse her until she doesn’t
need it. I also tell them that I won’t have any more kids, in large part
because of how everything happened last year. So, since she is my only baby and
nursing is our special thing that we got after we missed out on so much and
endured so much trauma, we will ride it out until it doesn’t feel right. Maybe
another year? Maybe another 2 years? I’m very okay with not knowing when the
journey will end. This has been the greatest gift of our birth experience, and
I’m happy seeing and feeling the continued joy it brings us. For others who
want to breastfeed longer than is typical, I say to go for it! You will never
regret being the one who can be your baby’s everything. For Part I of Erica and Scarlett's breastfeeding journey, click HERE Disclaimer: The material
included in this video is for informational purposes only. It is not intended
nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader
should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the
appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and
Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this
site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the
information provided. This blog and related videos contain information
about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the
official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on our blog and
videos do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. Birthing From
Within and Bradley Method® natural childbirth classes offered in Arizona:
convenient to Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert, Mesa, Scottsdale |
In Their Own Words: Erica ~ Part 1
Posted on August 25, 2017 at 11:54 AM |
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PART 1: My
Breastfeeding Journey: The Greatest Gift of My Birth Experience I didn’t go into motherhood thinking I would be an “extended
breastfeeder.” For those of you who have seen the HBO show Game of Thrones
and saw the scene of Robin Arryn nursing well into childhood… that’s kind of
what I thought of as “extended breastfeeding.” I initially figured I’d
give it a year and see how and where it went. Now that we’ve made it to 13
months and it’s going so well, it seems silly to even consider stopping. It is
still a large part of her nourishment, an effective way to soothe and comfort
her, and our special bonding time, among many other benefits. Also, there is
this huge emotional component for me: I think of our breastfeeding relationship
as the greatest gift of my birth experience. I had a traumatic birth in July
2016. I planned a homebirth and ended up transferring to a hospital for an
excruciating 52-hour induction that ended in a Cesarean birth. My daughter was
10 days past her anticipated due date and didn’t move enough on an ultrasound,
which is what caused us to need the induction. After 2 more days of every
horrible step of the induction process, and trying to hold out for an
un-medicated birth, I became a statistic in the chain of interventions and one
of the 1 in 3 American women whose babies are surgically delivered. To
make matters worse, Scarlett aspirated meconium at some point in our labor, and
was whisked away to the NICU as soon as she was out. I didn’t get to hold her
for 18 hours. I didn’t get to attempt to breastfeed until her third day of
life. After having everything on my birth
plan derail to the horrific experience I endured, I was determined to feed my
child the way that I had planned to; determined not to have breastfeeding taken
from me as well. I couldn’t see her during those first 18 hours, but I pumped
every 2 hours like a fiend. I was told not to try to get her to latch initially
because of her difficulties breathing, but I brought her all of my colostrum,
requested donor milk instead of formula until my milk came in, and continued to
pump and pump and pump. Finally, on the third day of her life, I made milk, and
her breathing improved, and I got to learn how to nurse my baby. We needed help at first. We met with
a lactation consultant, we used a nipple shield, and we used the football hold…
I drank my weight in water and ate everything in sight for a while. On day 3
when I finally got to start nursing, the hospital had rules for me: I could
only nurse her for 15 minutes, then I had to go and pump and she was given a
bottle of expressed milk to finish her feed so they could determine exactly how
much she ate. They had their reasons I’m sure, but the effect to me was
oversupply. I was nursing a hungry baby, and then pumping directly after. When
we were finally released on day 5, I was sent home with about 7 bottles of
extra milk I had made. I didn’t know then that wasn’t typical. When we got home, my husband soon
grew tired of hearing, “Babe, I need my water bottle!” However, he and Scarlett
were troopers. He kept me fed and hydrated, propped up, etc. She had a good
latch and was always hungry. Within a few days we stopped using the nipple
shield. Within a few weeks I could move a little better after the surgery and
stopped doing the football hold. Things were going more smoothly, until I began
to put together the effects my oversupply was having on Scarlett. My milk came
spraying out with such force that she would sometimes gag and sputter. She
would occasionally throw up all over us during or directly after eating. It was
frustrating to feed her when she seemed overwhelmed by my milk. It was not fun
to get vomited on. Repeatedly. And feel like I was smothering my baby with my
giant, milk-tastic boobs. I asked the doctor about it. He said
spit up is normal. I said it’s a lot more than spit up… he said all kids throw
up and not to worry about it. He was useless. I asked my Bradley teacher and La
Leche League ladies and they gave me actual things to try: laid-back nursing,
let gravity work for you, put baby on top of you, side-lying nursing, block
nursing, burp her more frequently, stop pumping so much… all of which helped
immensely. After a few months we finally got the hang of it. I’m glad I was
able to make some adaptations to help us, and had the willpower and resources
not to give up when it was hard. I honestly think my awful birth was
instrumental in my steadfastness when it came to breastfeeding. Click HERE for PART II of Erica and Scarlett’s story: Making It Work Disclaimer: The material
included in this video is for informational purposes only. It is not intended
nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader
should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the
appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and
Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this
site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the
information provided. This blog and related videos contain information
about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the
official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on our blog and
videos do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. Birthing From
Within and Bradley Method® natural childbirth classes offered in Arizona:
convenient to Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert, Mesa, Scottsdale |
In Their Own Words: Katie
Posted on August 17, 2017 at 3:57 PM |
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If you haven't read my previous posts, you're missing stories of my struggles with breastfeeding, but that's okay. For purposes of this update, you only really need what I wrote last year about tandem breastfeeding. You can find that HERE (2016) and one of my newborn stories is HERE (2012). Nothing much has changed in the last year. My nurslings are now 2 years old and 5.5 years old. The 2-year-old no longer trolls his big sister. Instead he beats on her if he's feeling feisty. It's fun. But seriously, I still love it. Even though I tend to insist they only nurse one at a time in the evening because I'm so tired and touched out (and they fight), it's still nice to be able to easily comfort two children to sleep. Son's arm resting on big sister's arm <3 My 5-year-old goes back and forth between being okay with waiting and very much *not* being okay with waiting. It's exhausting. The 2-year-old can be perfectly content doing anything but nursing until the 5-year-old gets anywhere near me. Then he has to nurse and tries to find out how to use both sides at the same time so he doesn't have to share the thing he was perfectly content not having a few minutes ago. My 5-year-old has a weird sense of awareness in the middle of the night. She knows the moment I've gotten her brother to sleep and comes into our room asking to nurse. I used to direct her to my bed, but she's gotten insistent that she nurse first. Thankfully, she came up with the "just one minute" compromise, so I let her nurse for a few minutes and then tell her her minute is up, and she gets up willingly. Likewise, in bed, she wakes up in the moment he stops nursing and asks to nurse. I don't know what sorcery this is. But there are times they nurse side-by-side and stroke each other's hair or hold each other's hands. There are times they both run up to me, excitedly divvying up right side and left. There are times they are both finished nursing and they just sleep on me or next to me, and I feel their warmth and their breathing. Disclaimer: The material included in this video is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog and video contain information about
our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official
website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this video and on our
blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American
Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®.
Birthing From Within and Bradley
Method® natural childbirth classes offered in Arizona: convenient to Chandler,
Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert, Mesa, Scottsdale |
In Their Own Words: Courtney
Posted on August 26, 2016 at 7:08 AM |
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"In Their Own
Words" is a blog series we share to bring you "real life"
experiences from other mothers and their families. Would you like to
share your story? Please email me at krystyna{at}sweetpeabirths{dot}com to get
started. Today we are featuring a Q&A we did with one of our pumping and working-out-of-the-home mothers. She shares her insight gained from pumping for both of her sweet peas, for a combined total of 34 months...and counting. What was your vision of what pumping at work was going to entail? I thought I knew what pumping at work was going to be like. I thought it would be a nice break in my day to sit and think about my baby. It was inconvenient and awkward to constantly explain myself. I had read all these books about breastfeeding, gone to support groups, talked to a Lactation consultant, talked to friends, and when it came down to it, I still had to find my own way. All the knowledge helped, but each relationship and situation is unique. I knew it was going to be work, and I knew that I could do it. I didn't realize how long I would be doing it. 2 years. I pumped at work for nearly 2 years. I think that the most important step of the journey was making the commitment and educating myself. The most important part of making that successful was being surrounded by people that supported that commitment, and talking about it. What was the reality? At first, I was lucky. I worked with a group of women who were extremely supportive, including my best friend, who was still pumping for her son, 7 months older than my daughter. We brought in a couch, and ate lunch one handed, pumping side by side, while chatting with our colleagues, who breastfed their children. This gave me confidence that I didn't realize I would need later. Everything was normal. What I didn't count on was leaving that job and starting over at a new school. I knew that I would pump when I went back to work, but I never really thought about how long I would do it. My daughter was 9 months old when I started at my new school. Though still supportive, there was no couch and no camaraderie. I was isolated and lonely. At about 12 months, I was starting to hate it. I would pump in my car, but hooking up with the stupid hands-free bra in a car that had been sitting in the sun all day while trying not to expose myself to passers-by. What a sweaty, frustrating ordeal. But! I kept doing it until she was nearly 2, sometimes cursing about it, but I did it. Who did you have to talk to to make it happen? Empowered by the ease of my first experience with pumping at work, in my new school, I knew what I was entitled too, but most of all, I was open about talking to people about pumping and breastfeeding, especially the”extended” relationship. I wrote a very professional, informed, and informative email that sent to the entire Administrative team at the high school where I teach. My principal thanked me for the information that I provided and we even chatted for awhile about the inequity of motherhood in the workplace and how we both hope to see it change in our lifetime. As a single guy, he had never thought about it. I developed a view of myself as an advocate and found ways to normalize and remove the stigma of breastfeeding and pumping at work for an extended time. The more I talked about it frankly with those around me, the less I got a reaction; which I think is awesome! That's normalizing, right? Now that I am pumping for my 2nd child, my co-workers don’t bat an eyelash when I say, “I'll be back in 20. Going to make lunch for my son.” What kind of provision did your employer make; and was it easy, or did you have to push hard? I took the lead on advocating for myself in the workplace. I took the attitude of, “If I walk in like I own the place, no one will question me.” When I wrote my email to my administrators and had follow up conversations, I made sure to be informed and provide links to state and federal information, guidelines, and statutes that supported me. I informed my administrators of what was legally expected of them and what I was entitled to. I also provided them with my pumping schedule, and the location that I planned to pump. It was more like, “this is what I’m doing, and this is why you have to let me.” It wasn’t that I expected backlash. I wanted to be clear and straightforward. My department head was very accommodating in scheduling my prep period for a time that was best for me to space out my pumping. I believe that all of this seemed “easy” because I was well informed and took the role of educating and informing my workplace, advocating for myself, and for other mothers in the future. I didn’t expect them to know what to do, and I didn’t expect anyone to change they way they went about their day to accommodate my needs. My commitment to my child would come first if there were any issues, but there were not. What kind of support did your partner provide that was helpful? My partner is extremely supportive, but didn’t quite get why I feel dejected when he would tell me “just pump” when I was trying to schedule my life around feeding my baby. We talked about it, and I explained rather than getting frustrated and shutting down. I would describe how frustrating it was to try to hook up to my pump in the car, in the heat, with a hands-free bra, and a nursing cover, or how I couldn’t do “x” because it was too close to feeding time, or wouldn’t allow me time to feed... and then I ran across an ad for the Freemie on Facebook! He bought me a set. I loved it. Then I complained that I had to wash them every day, and he bought me a second set, so I didn’t have to wash them every day. Best. Husband. Ever. How much time should a mom plan for each pumping session? Any tips for better/easier letdown? I usually pump for about 15 minutes. If I reflect on how I got to that, I started by pumping until I wasn’t ejecting any more milk. That would usually take about 20-25 minutes, which was about the length of my commute to work. I discovered that I was pumping more than the baby was eating, I would end up engorged on the weekends. I cut down to 15 minutes and now I end up about even with what baby consumes while I am gone. To trigger letdown, at first I would just talk about my baby with my colleagues. Especially pumping side-by-side with another momma, let down was not difficult to achieve. Now, I start to let down a few minutes before I start pumping. When I changed schools, it was a little more difficult. I didn’t have that camaraderie any more. On more stressful days, it would take a little longer to trigger letdown. On these days, I sit quietly, turn off distractions, and breathe. Looking at pictures hasn’t worked for me in the past, but closing my eyes and visualizing nursing my baby has helped. How long did you make the pumping commitment work - how did that match your expectations? When we decided to breastfeed my husband and I talked about it. I wanted to do at least a year, but thought about continuing the more I learned about extended breastfeeding. Hubby was super supportive of extended breastfeeding, so I made the commitment to nurse as long as my daughter wanted to. I ended up weaning her when I became pregnant. She and I made it 22 months. I am now on month 12 of nursing and pumping for my son. I know that I probably sound like an ad for Freemie, but with Freemie, I don’t see myself stopping until he’s not nursing during the day anymore. What words of advice would you give to someone who is ready to go back to work and wants to pump for their baby? Be informed. Inform others. Have a plan. Have a backup plan. Keep perspective. This is for your baby, everybody else can take a number. You are legally protected. Get comfortable saying things like “expressing milk” and “breastfeeding” to complete strangers. They don’t understand euphemisms. I’ve pumped in many places that weren’t schools and I’ve never been told that they couldn’t help me. I hope it was because I was confident and informed. If I were being completely truthful, I smiled inside when I saw someone squirm. I thought to myself, “I’m making them change. This is good.” This is your right and my right to provide for our children. The more we make people uncomfortable, the more comfortable they become and the more “normal” feeding babies breastmilk will be for future generations. As for the bottle, ask friends to borrow different types of bottles before you spend a fortune. Both of our kids like the Dr. Browns bottles, but that isn’t what we had a full set of. . . I took twelve weeks off with both of my kids. With my daughter (first born) we tried a bottle with her the week before I went back. This was not soon enough because she wouldn’t take a bottle and I went to my first day back thinking, “my baby isn’t going to eat.” She did, and everything was fine, but I was stressed, which made it harder to pump and made it harder for me to do my job. I think even two weeks out would have been good. Don’t be the one to give baby the bottle. Have a partner, friend, or family member do it so the baby will actually try. I had to leave the house to get my daughter to even attempt a bottle. From our experience, don’t wait until they are starving. Giving a crying baby a bottle for the first time didn’t work out for us. Bottom line? Be confident. Be informed. Inform others. Find your path. Ask for help. Be an advocate. Thank you to
Courtney for sharing her breastfeeding journey today <3 I hope it has touched
you and inspired you in some way, and that you will take heart and courage in
your own breastfeeding journey. UPCOMING EVENTS: Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love As part of the LLL area conference August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Embassy Suites Biltmore Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Disclaimer: The material included in this blog is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional
medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider
to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own
situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and
Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the
consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog and related videos contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of Birthing From Within or The Bradley Method®. The
views contained in this video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those
of Birthing From Within, The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of
Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Katie ~ 2016 Update
Posted on August 22, 2016 at 12:15 PM |
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"In Their Own Words" is a blog series we share to
bring you "real life" experiences from other mothers and their
families. Would you like to share your story? Please email me at
[email protected] to get started. Click HERE to read Katie’s submission for our ITOW series in 2012, written when her older
nursling was 19 weeks old. If you've read my earlier breastfeeding stories, you know
how much I've dreamed of tandem breastfeeding. My dream came true July
2015. I've been tandem breastfeeding for over 13 months now, with my older
nursling - my third child - being 4.5 years old (and I haven't had a decent
night's sleep in about 4.5 years). If you've read my earlier stories, you will
also notice this one is shorter. I think it's because we've just hit our
groove. Anyway, you're probably here to learn about tandem breastfeeding. I cannot say how amazing tandem breastfeeding can be.
Obviously it can be convenient when both nurslings need comfort, especially at
bedtime when everyone is cranky. Beyond the convenience, is the amazing: I'm
talking about snuggling two children close to me while they look into my eyes
or drift off to sleep. I'm talking about intense bonding hormones washing over
me like a tidal wave. I'm talking about looking down to see my two children
holding hands as they do their favorite thing together. I'm even talking about
the laugh I get when they fight while they're breastfeeding, just like they did
when she breastfed while he was still in utero. I'm definitely also talking
about the laugh I get when the baby trolls the preschooler, like slowing moving
his hand closer and closer to "her" boob or tousling her hair and
brushing it into her face. (Seriously...as bad as I feel for her, it is
hilarious.) On the other hand, tandem breastfeeding is taxing. My body
works that much harder to make milk. I get that much less sleep. Sometimes I'm
touched out, and I just have to say no to the preschooler, and she has a
meltdown. And I feel horrible, because I've just denied her something she
believes is essential, and something that is an integral part of her
relationship with me. Many people tell me to wean my older nursling, or at least night wean,
especially since my sleep is so poor. If that is a mother's choice, more power
to her. I do not have the desire to make my child wean. I feel bad enough when
I wave her off - sometimes pry her off - during the day and occasionally at
night. I love to breastfeed my children. I love the connection. I love the
security. I love the superpower-like feeling of nourishing and comforting a
child with my body's natural abilities. I'm of the mindset that I absolutely
will not make one of my children wean without absolute necessity. I will also
be devastated when they wean. I love breastfeeding, even though it's hard. There are always a few technical questions when it comes to
tandem breastfeeding. How did I know the baby got enough? Did I make the older
nursling wait her turn? How do I physically nurse them both, like am I an
expert Tetris player? What about sharing illnesses? And the list goes on. First
of all, there are a lot of resources available to assuage a mother's concerns,
like La Leche League (LLL) meetings, and a book put out by LLL called Adventures in
Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary
Flower. Here are some of my responses:
So, is tandem breastfeeding easy? No, except when I can take
down two cranks at the same time...then it's easier than the alternative. Is tandem breastfeeding for everyone? Nope. Aside from
determination and patience, it takes a true desire to do it. Is tandem breastfeeding worth it? When it's good, it's
great. And for me, the good far outweighs everything else. Thank you to Katie for sharing her update on their breastfeeding
journey today <3 I hope it has touched you and inspired you in some way, and
that you will take heart and courage in your own breastfeeding (and maybe
tandem nursing!) journey. Katie Newton is an alumni mom from our Fall 2011 and Spring 2015 Classes. She and her husband have four children. See more of Katie's "random thoughts and mutterings" by visiting her blog, UPCOMING EVENTS Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love As part of the LLL area conference August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Embassy Suites Biltmore Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Disclaimer: The material included in this blog is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional
medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider
to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own
situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and
Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the
consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog and related videos contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of Birthing From Within or The Bradley Method®. The
views contained in this video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those
of Birthing From Within, The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of
Husband-Coached Childbirth®. Birthing From Within and Bradley Method® natural childbirth
classes offered in Arizona: convenient to Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, Gilbert,
Mesa, Scottsdale, Payson |
In Their Own Words: Tanya + Tandem Nursing
Posted on August 19, 2016 at 9:39 AM |
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"In Their Own
Words" is a blog series we share to bring you "real life"
experiences, written by other mothers about their families. Would you like to
share your story? Please email me at krystyna{at}sweetpeabirths{dot}com to get
started. Before I had children, I thought that tandem nursing was something a mother did with twins, or triplets, etc. Little did I know! After my first daughter was born, I went from thinking I would just nurse until she was one, to feeling sad that she self-weaned at 22 months while I was pregnant with my second daughter. I never knew how much I wanted to tandem nurse until I wasn’t able to do it. When I became pregnant with my son, I thought I might get the chance for tandem this time around. However, my second daughter self-weaned at 17 months. I felt this was far too early and was even more disappointed (Though the nipple aversion was getting pretty difficult!). My son was born when my second daughter was 23 months and to my surprise, 6 weeks later she decided to re-latch while in the bath tub with me one day. From then on she wanted to nurse at least 3 times a day. I was blown away! I had never heard of a former nursling re-latching. I proceeded to join an online tandem nursing group because I was unable to find much help at my normal breastfeeding group regarding tandem nursing. So here I was with my amazing tandem nursing that I had always wanted and I was MISERABLE!!! It was so difficult because not only did I have an infant who was waking about 3 times a night to nurse, but now I had a 2-year-old who magically started waking up to nurse. There were many nights where I fell asleep with them hanging off me and my nipples just felt stretched to the limits. My 2-year-old wanted to nurse almost as much as my infant did many days, and in the books I read there was no discussion about this behavior. I went to my Le Leche League group and they suggested different ways of setting nursing limits. Slowly I began working on nursing limits with her, and over the course of a year-long tandem journey, I was able to get a few limits set. However, breastfeeding had become so much more of a struggle than I had ever experienced in my 4+ years of nursing. I had always just followed my children’s cues and we seemed to have an unspoken understanding of one another when it came to nursing. This tension and dislike for nursing was uncharted territory for me and I began feeling such guilt. Guilt that I no longer understood my daughter. Guilt that I wasn’t having the same positive nursing experience with her that I had the first time around. Guilt that I was letting myself become so burnt out and stressed that I wasn’t being the mommy that I wanted to be for any of my children. But...I was a sleep deprived mom with a husband working out of town. He was only home 4-7 days out of the month from the time our son was 6 weeks until he was 5 months and then again from 11-13months. So I was a single, tandem-nursing, homeschooling mom of 3 during the week and a basket case during the one or two days my husband would come home. My adrenaline kept me going through the week, but I would collapse many a Saturday either emotionally or physically (or both). The truth is that at any stage of parenting it can get so hard and overwhelming and out of control. It is OK to ask for help! It is OK to complain to others! It is OK for things to not be OK! I reached out to a few moms toward the end of my tandem nursing journey and complained that my almost 3-year-old was acting out so much more, regressing in her behavior, I was sleep deprived, I was resenting having to nurse two children…and you know what they told me… It is OK to stop when the breastfeeding relationship is not working for both. At first I scoffed because “hey…this was my job. I don’t get to say that I AM tired of it. I have to wait until SHE weans, right?!?” This is the biggest misconception I have felt and have heard others talk about. Now two months after our tandem nursing journey has ended I see that not only do I have a better relationship with my three-year-old but she has an amazing bond with her brother because of that tandem nursing. She is NOT damaged because I initiated weaning. She is thriving immensely! She is now potty trained (which was near impossible while she was nursing-she wanted no part of it), she is once again sleeping through the night, she has stopped doing the baby talk she had been doing AND we get to have a new way to have that special time together (which is a great thing for the middle child of the family). I am beyond grateful to have been able to extend my nursing journey through tandem nursing. I was able to nurse my two younger children together through the flu this past winter and they recovered far quicker than any of their friends (some who had to be hospitalized for dehydration). I am thankful that tandem nursing provided an easier transition for my middle child from baby of the family to big sister. But most of all I am thankful for the lesson I learned. I had a preconceived notion of how my nursing journey was supposed to go: I was supposed to happily tandem nurse until my middle child easily weaned herself. I learned that just because that was not how it went, it did not make me less of a mother or her nursing experience less positive or less beneficial. It has to be a balance, just like everything in life. Thank you to
TANYA for sharing about her tandem breastfeeding journey today <3 I hope it has touched
you and inspired you in some way, and that you will take heart and courage in
your own breastfeeding journey. UPCOMING EVENTS Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love As part of the LLL area conference August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Embassy Suites Biltmore Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Disclaimer: The material included in this blog is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information
provided. This blog and related videos contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this
video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method®
or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Tanya...Part 1
Posted on August 15, 2016 at 12:39 PM |
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"In Their Own
Words" is a blog series we share to bring you "real life"
experiences from other mothers and their families. Would you like to
share your story? Please email me at [email protected] to get
started. As a mother to two girls I feel even more of a responsibility to normalize breastfeeding. My amazing mother did that for me and I am forever grateful. I grew up knowing that breastfeeding was a wonderful way to nourish and bond with your baby. From the moment I knew I wanted to be a mom, I knew I would breastfeed. So imagine my surprise when I have my first daughter and suddenly I felt an overwhelming embarrassment to nurse in public…WITH A NURSING COVER even. There was many a time I went to nurse her in my car or even nursed her in a store bathroom (not my finest hour)!!! To this day I am not even sure where this feeling came from because I was never the victim of shaming from another person while breastfeeding. I imagine it all comes from society’s perception of breastfeeding. Thankfully, I had joined Mercy Gilbert’s breastfeeding group and slowly my embarrassment began to turn into pride. By the time I finished Krystyna and Bruss’ Bradley Class in the Spring of 2013, I felt like a superhero of sorts for all the amazing benefits I had provided for my daughter and was going to give my new baby. I went from not wanting anyone to see me breastfeed with my first daughter (the only picture I have is from the hospital), to embracing the wonderful bond breastfeeding brings and doing so in pictures.
Today I have been breastfeeding or pregnant (or breastfeeding while pregnant) for 5 ½ years. My greatest accomplishment so far is seeing my daughters “nurse” their babies. It shows me that I have been that role model for them to show them that breastfeeding is normal and beautiful and even difficult at times. When my 5-year-old daughter tells me how she needs to nurse her 2-year-old doll or my 3-year-old daughter says “I nurse my baby, mama!” that is simply music to my ears. I started out my nursing journey hoping I could make it to one year and hoping I wouldn’t offend anybody if I had to nurse in public. Now, I have proudly nursed one child to 22 months, another to 3 years and am currently nursing my almost 15-month old son until our nursing journey comes to an end. Furthermore, I nurse in public wherever I need to, sometimes with a cover, sometimes without; and sometimes while baby-wearing. My hope is that I not only provide my daughters and son with a positive view of breastfeeding, but also inspire a new mom to feel like she is a superhero of sorts when breastfeeding; because it is hard, it is exhausting, it is amazing, it is powerful, it is rewarding, it is blissful, it is depressing, it is courageous, it is painful, it is empowering, but most importantly, it requires a village in order to be successful. Whether it be family members (I am so lucky that my parents and in-laws where both a tremendous help), a group or class (both life savers for me), a friend, relative, doctor….it takes a village to make breastfeeding successful. And I am forever grateful for the confidence my village gave me. Thank you to Tanya for sharing her breastfeeding journey today <3 I hope it has touched you and inspired you in some way, and that you will take heart and courage in your own breastfeeding journey. UPCOMING EVENTS Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love As part of the LLL area conference August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Embassy Suites Biltmore Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Disclaimer: The material included in this video is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information
provided. This blog and video contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this
video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method®
or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Sara + Breastfeeding a baby with food allergies
Posted on August 12, 2016 at 9:42 AM |
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"In Their Own Words" is a blog series we share to bring you "real life" experiences from other mothers and their families. Would you like to share your story? Please email me at [email protected] to get started. When you don’t have a baby with food allergies, it’s easy to take their health for granted. Smooth, clear baby skin and perfect breastfed baby stools are the norm. My first baby was just like that. I assumed my second would be as well, but just a few weeks into her life I began to notice that something was amiss. Her face, trunk, elbows, and knees were covered in eczema. I avoided taking pictures of her because it made me sad to see. When she would have a bowel movement, it was almost always green and filled with mucous. At first, I thought that perhaps I had lactose overload. I began to block feed diligently, but it didn’t help at all. On the advice of my naturopath, I started down the path of a Total Elimination Diet (TED). I followed the diet outlined by Dr. Sears for breastfeeding mothers, but there are many variations. When I first started the diet, I looked for loopholes wherever possible. I hated being so restricted. As a result of “cheating” on the diet, my baby’s skin and gut were not healing the way they should. After a couple months, I decided I needed to re-commit to the diet, and I started over. The results were amazing within just a few short days. Her skin was clear for the first time in months, and I finally started seeing yellow, seedy stools. It validated me that I was making the right choice for my baby’s health. I have been able to slowly add new foods to my diet over these past months, and my diet is becoming more varied as time goes on. My baby is 8 months old now, and is thriving! She is mostly exclusively breast-fed, but is slowly exploring food for herself through baby-led weaning. People have asked me, “Why not just use formula?” It’s a valid question. It’s not fun being on this diet. The thought of using formula has certainly crossed my mind more than once. However, my reasoning is multi-faceted: 1) I am going to have to figure out my baby’s food allergies at one point or another, 2) I’m super cheap and didn’t want to pay for hypoallergenic formula and bottles, and 3) It is very possible that even with hypoallergenic formula, she could develop an allergy to an ingredient. I made the choice to continue breastfeeding as long as it was feasible. Even with all of my little one’s health issues, I wouldn’t change a thing! To new moms who are dealing with this: get connected with other allergy moms. The best advice I have received has been from moms who have walked this path before me. It makes such a big difference when you have people in your mama tribe who are able to support you because they have been there! Nurse on, mamas. Did/does your sweet pea have food allergies? How did you manage to breastfeed? UPCOMING EVENTS Chandler-Gilbert La Leche League Live, Latch, Love August 13, 2016 from 4:30 – 8:30 pm Click HERE for
more info Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love As part of the LLL area conference August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Embassy Suites Biltmore Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Disclaimer: The material included in this video is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information
provided. This blog and video contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this
video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method®
or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Sara
Posted on August 8, 2016 at 6:33 PM |
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I am so happy to share this story from a mother who has chosen tandem breastfeeding for her family. It is still not always accepted by family or friends when we breastfeed children past the first birthday here in the U.S., let alone if we choose to breastfeed past the child's second or third birthday. In today's installment of IN THEIR OWN WORDS, Sara shares where her expectations were before birthing her firstborn, and how that evolved as she continued down the path of their breastfeeding journey. “Moms who nurse past age one are just doing it for themselves.” “Once they can ask for it…” I remember saying both of those refrains before I became a nursing mom. When I began breastfeeding my oldest daughter 3.5 years ago, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would continue to nurse for over three years. I never planned on being one of “those” moms. I would breastfeed for a year, and that was that. Once I became a mom, my new favorite hobby was researching all things related to parenthood. I learned about cloth diapers, extended rear facing, babywearing, attachment parenting, and of course full-term breastfeeding. I learned that the WHO recommends breastfeeding for two years, and then as long as the mother and baby desire after that. I learned that worldwide, nursing beyond age two is the norm rather than the exception. Before I knew it, my nursling and I hit the two-year mark. Shortly after, I learned I was pregnant. Nursing early in pregnancy was difficult, but I was determined to let my daughter self-wean. And she did… at least temporarily. At about 27 weeks along, she weaned herself and stopped asking for a while. However, after a month or so, she started showing interest again. She would ask to “check” if there was any milk, and I would let her. She wasn’t getting anything, but continued to do milk checks once a week or so for the rest of pregnancy. We talked about what would happen when her baby sister was born, and she understood that her sister would always need to eat first. The baby came, and once the initial nipple soreness subsided, my 2-year old happily nursed. A happy result was that my 2-year old was able to help me with a clogged duct that was teetering on the brink of mastitis when I was 9 days postpartum. And so, I officially became a tandem breastfeeding mom. If you had asked me four years ago if I would ever nurse two differently aged babies at the same time, my answer would have unequivocally been NO. Yet here I was. We tandem nursed for four months when I started feeling like it was time to wean my older daughter. I wanted to make it a positive experience for her. So, we chose a date on the calendar, and marked it as our last day for “yummies” (her nickname for breastmilk). We made plans for a celebratory mommy-daughter date. The date came, and we had our final nursing session right before bed. The following day, we had our date. I was so thankful that it was an easy weaning experience! She was officially weaned at 3 years, 2 months. My advice to moms: be flexible. Follow your instincts, be willing to learn and adapt. You know your baby best, and don’t let anyone make you feel less than for doing what you feel is best for your breastfeeding relationship. Have you considered tandem nursing? Or if you did, what helpful tips can you offer our readers? In Their Own Words: Breastfeeding Series is shared in honor of Breastfeeding Awareness Month, observed every August here in the United States. Would you like to share your breastfeeding journey? Please email me to get started: [email protected] Other Breastfeeding Month Events: Chandler-Gilbert La Leche League Live, Latch, Love August 13, 2016 Click HERE for more info La Leche League Conference August 26-28, 2016 Register Here: www.lllofaz.org/area-conference Phoenix La Leche League: Live, Latch, Love August 26th, 5-7 PM Embassy Suites Biltmore Upcoming Classes: Four Spots left in our Birthing From Within Series for RETURNING STUDENTS ONLY Disclaimer: The material included in this blog post is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information
provided. This blog and video contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method® or Birthing From Within The views contained in this
video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those of Birthing From Within, The Bradley Method®, or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Amy
Posted on August 5, 2016 at 7:51 AM |
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"In Their Own Words" is one of my favorite series on the blog. It lets families share their stories, and help others along the way. Thank you, Amy, for taking the time to write out your breastfeeding story. We are honored to be able to share it with other mothers who are facing challenges along their breastfeeding journey.
I always wanted to be able to nurse, to provide for my
babies in that way, and to experience the bond. For whatever reason, I always
felt confident that I would be able to, as well. When I finally became
pregnant, however, my confidence dwindled. Maybe it was the stories, the
testimonies other women share, sometimes even when you don't want to hear. When people would ask if I planned to breastfeed the baby,
my "Yes" changed rather quickly to "I hope to." Until one
day a dear friend, who I had confided in, overheard someone else asking me (yet
again). After I responded my hopeful, "I hope so...if I'm able," she
said very confidently, "No. It's time to start saying YES,
absolutely." It was a turning point for me. When my sweet baby boy came, and "lost more weight then they like to see" within the first week, the pediatrician called in the lactation consultant. We discussed options and goals. She used words/phrases and charts that made me second-guess myself, insisted we at least take the boxes of formula home over the weekend and requested that we come back Monday for another weight check. I cried right there in the office. I am still shocked that a lactation
consultant pushed formula to that degree, especially at an office that holds
breastfeeding at such a high regard. We never opened those boxes. We posted
"Milk Parlor" signs on the doors, got out the breast pump to help
with my let down, and locked the doors to the outside world for the next 72
hours. Baby boy FEASTED(!) and gained his weight back plus some. Of course it wasn't easy... I was
up pumping while the entire house was sleeping, including baby. I was sleep
deprived, emotionally exhausted and entirely dependent on my support system.
But boy-o-boy was it worth it. My advice to momma's getting ready to start the journey...
Take advantage of the free breast pump through your insurance (if insured) and
get it BEFORE baby comes, if possible. It could be your saving grace that helps
bring your milk in. Your midwife or OB can write a prescription for a pump,
which you'll need when you call your insurance. It's okay to be confident and proud about your ability to
breastfeed. You should be. You're AMAZING. You're not alone. At any given moment there are likely
hundreds (maybe thousands) of women around the world experiencing labor with
you, sleep deprivation with you, etc. Channel their energy. Call on your
village. We love you and care about you. Disclaimer: The material included in this video is for informational
purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for
professional medical advice. The viewer should always consult her or his
healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for
their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss
Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site,
or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information
provided. This blog and video contain
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained in this
video and on our blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method®
or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
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