Chandler, Arizona
Sweet Pea ​Births
Sweet Pea ​Births
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
Blog
Just Tell Me
Posted on February 28, 2017 at 9:39 AM |
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I was reminded again yesterday how prevalent the stigma still is around the struggle after a baby is born: baby blues, postpartum depression, onset of anxiety in the postpartum period... The transition into motherhood is hard. The first child is pretty shocking, even if you have a good support system. Nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming emotion and experience of holding a helpless newborn, the blood that is dripping out of you for the next few weeks, and then learning to breastfeed on top of all that. It is doable, and people have been doing it for generations, so you know in your head it's possible...but your body is screaming WTF just happened here. On top of all this, is the pressure from society to pretend that nothing happened. Bounce out of bed with full make-up, pose for some pictures, host everyone who wants to come meet the baby, and fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes by the time the six-week check up comes around or you are a slug who just can't get it together. As you add Sweet Peas to your family, there is still an adjustment period. The love happens - you will have enough. The adjustment for me was learning how to manage the time and the house with 2+ children. A wise woman once told me, "Lower your expectations every time and you will do great." Another wise woman reminded me, "They are not all two at the same time." More on those topics another day...back to the topic at hand. An older woman asked me why I write about postpartum so much...her generation just got on with it. She asked me why this was such "a thing" for women of this day and age. My answer is I DON'T KNOW. Is it the food we are eating that doesn't support the hormonal shift as well as it used to? Is it that we know now that drinking and smoking are not the best stress relievers for mothers of newborns?Is it the pressure of social media to "fakebook" and we are speaking up to say, "not today"? Is is the age of the internet that allows us to gather information and know that we are not alone? I have no idea. My point today is, it is okay to ask for help if you need it. Maybe you don't need help. Maybe you had a satisfactory birth experience and your support network is amazing and enlightened and you are doing great. Yeah!! Bonus points for you. (and I don't believe you) There are also GOLD STARS waiting for you if you are able to say two of the hardest words, HELP ME. I just read an affirmation today that really sparked me along with running into some friends who reminded me just how important postpartum care is to families who are struggling: "It is healthy for me to say what I need and accept help". When your childbirth educator, doula, midwife or anyone else in your life you cares about you calls you and asks how you are doing, for your own sake, tell us the truth!! We expect to hear, "I'm fine!" "Things are great!" "All good!" What we are listening for are the in-betweens: the pauses, the crack in your voice, the tiredness as you speak. We have been there - we know it is hard - we know it's an adjustment, and we want to help you. We will try to find a way to see you if we are concerned. So just make it easier for us to help you - tell us without shame, because we have been there, too. Please tell the people who ask you and want to be there for you what you need. We will show up and we will support you in any way we can as you make the transition from maiden to mother. It is okay - you are still a great mom. |
3 BIG Postpartum Secrets Exposed
Posted on May 13, 2016 at 11:10 AM |
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I wish someone had told me just how leaky postpartum
was. Now, I know we talk about this in
the Bradley™ classes we teach because it was such a shock to me after the birth of our first Sweet Pea. Quite frankly, I
don’t remember hearing about all the different ways things drip out of you
after you birth your baby when we were Bradley™ students (and, twice!! Two teachers and no mention of this). I wonder if you, like me, just think that
postpartum is going to be sparkly and magical because the pregnancy is over and you are
holding your baby. Well, I'll admit, there is some magic - I don't want to be a complete Sour Susie. Here is the Reality Check, though: along with the magical parts, postpartum is *really* drippy. Think leaky faucets on steroids... First of all, you are holding this beautiful,
squishy baby that is too cute for words.
For me, every time I locked eyes with them, my heart melted. It made me
cry every.single.time. Add in the roller coaster of postpartum hormones and you might be crying at just about everything else, too. You aren’t feeling in love with your baby? That is okay.
You are still a good mom. Keep
reading. Especially the part at the end of this post. Secondly, did anyone tell you that your breasts might look
like shiny hard melons ready to pop? No, seriously…"hard, shiny, so taut you can
bounce a quarter off of them" uncomfortable.
My husband could always tell when my milk came in. Even if you are not going to breastfeed, you
may want to have a strategy because the body will keep making milk until it
gets the message that no one is emptying the breast. Now, if you are going to breastfeed, rest
assured that for most women, once the body figures out the supply and demand
cycle, the engorgement goes away (check out THIS tip to help with engorgement). While
you will feel full-ish when your breasts produce milk between feedings, the
bursting sensation eases off and you find a “new normal”, and probably some new
nursing bras that are 1 to 2 sizes bigger than your pre-pregnancy size. The third faucet that turns on and doesn’t turn off for a
few weeks is the one connected to your uterus.
The joy you had about being excused from a monthly cycle for ten months
comes raging back for typically 4-6 weeks postpartum. I was so irritated that no one thought to
mention this to me back when I was pregnant the first time. Literally NO ONE told me that I was going to
have a menstrual-like flow for six weeks.
Don’t you think that would be kind of important to mention to first time
moms???? So here it is – laid out for you – the BIG secrets that should not *EVER* be secrets, because becoming a mother is a big enough adjustment to make without the leaky surprises. Now, there are things you
can do to mitigate all this leakage. Here are some ideas for you in regards to those three secrets that I just busted open for you. (For more of my postpartum tips, see the links listed at the end of the post) Tears: Breasts: The Flow: Again, I have to recommend my friend Shannon – she also
makes amazing postpartum pads. You can
see them HERE. If you are going to be bleeding like crazy,
then you might as well be as comfortable as possible. Now, back to that item of, “What if I am not feeling in love with my baby?” Sometimes, things happen that have no bearing
on you as a person or a mother. It is a
fact that some women will experience some degree of postpartum mood disorder. It could be the blues that last for a couple
of weeks, maybe you are experiencing depression, or maybe you are tumbling into
postpartum psychosis. You can answer
THESE questions and talk to
your care provider about the results. Also
at that page is a link to the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) – you can print, complete and take with you when you see your care
provider. Wherever you fall on the scale, help is out there and it is
available. Please do not hide in shame
from your family and friends. YOU ARE
NOT ALONE. YOU ARE STILL A GOOD
PERSON. You are a good person who is
having an adjustment; still a good person nonetheless. This having a baby and becoming a mother thing is
an initiation…and we are just not prepared for it in our culture anymore. Talk therapy is the least invasive and the least likely to
affect your milk supply if you are breastfeeding. Here are some resources if you are local to
the Chandler, AZ area where we teach. If you are not local, scroll down for some online resources and a link to support group listings in the USA and Canada. Blossoming Moms Breastfeeding + Postpartum Support
Group • Every Wednesday morning • Time: 11:00 AM Pregnant moms are welcome too! Blossom Birth and Wellness Center 2928 N 16th Place, Phoenix, AZ 85016 Facilitator: Michelle Hottya818-606-5687 Dignity Health Postpartum Adjustment Support Group • Wednesdays • Time: 1:00 - 2:30 pm For pregnant and new mothers who are experiencing depression and adjustment challenges, the number one complication of childbirth. Come learn coping mechanisms and how to ask for help in a safe and nonjudgmental environment. Registration is not required. Childcare is provided during
the group sessions for for babies and toddlers. You are welcome to bring your significant
other or support person. Support group does not meet the week of July 4th,
Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Meeting Location: Rome Towers: 1760 E Pecos Rd., Ste. 235, Gilbert, AZ 85295 Postpartum Progress Group Therapy • Wednesdays • Time: 4:00 - 5:00 pm Supporting moms from bump to breast & beyond. All meetings led by Dr. Cara English, MA, LAC, DBH. Group therapy may not be the best option for all moms. Dr. English will administer a brief phone assessment to determine if group therapy will be helpful for you, or if other types of treatment would be more beneficial. The assessment will be scheduled prior to your first group. Cost: $30/session Call (480) 442-8491 for more info. AZ Breastfeeding Center, 4703 S. Lakeshore Dr, Tempe, 85282. Do you need support outside of the Phoenix, Arizona
area? Check out these options, and
remember, you do not have to suffer alone.
Reach out – I hope you will be overwhelmed by the compassion and
acceptance of the women who have gone before you and are living testimonies to
the fact that there is a “Climb Out Of The Darkness”. Postpartum Progress – Online Support Forum Postpartum Support – Resource list for USA and Canada About ##PPD Chat on Twitter BLOG My Postpartum Voice Is there something you discovered on your own about postpartum that you wish someone had told you?? What was that? Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and
posted. MORE ABOUT POSTPARTUM ON SPB: Postpartum Ideas to manage sleep, feeding, feelings about your birth, siblings, and pets Postpartum Strategies - adjusting to life with a newborn Postpartum Doulas - what they do and how to hire one Postpartum Kit - essentials for a more pleasant postpartum experience The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Birth News Roundup
Posted on October 17, 2013 at 12:18 PM |
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I hope you enjoyed our Mommy Con recap in lieu of a "Birth News" installment last week. Here are the articles I have collected that I thought would be of interest to those of you TTC, currently pregnant, or getting close to welcoming your babies. This week was also Remembrance Day for families that have experienced the grief of loss. I open this post with an event to honor their brief passage through our lives. Remembrance Service for Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss
Source: AFN http://bit.ly/1hHSVdt FERTILITY New Test May Spot Which Embryos Stand Greatest Chance of Survival
Source: US News and
World Report http://bit.ly/GX1A0z Increase seen in donor eggs for in vitro fertilization, with improved outcomes
Source: Science Codex http://bit.ly/16i1SFf PREGNANCY BPA exposure may increase miscarriage risk in pregnant women
Source: Health24 http://bit.ly/17p8qlI Babies can be born dependent on drugs, even prescription medicine
Source: WBIR.com http://on.wbir.com/16i1Ddk Maternal cardiac function may predict outcomes in preeclampsia
My note: this is a very small study – only 36 women in sample size Source: OBGYN News http://bit.ly/16iiVXU Using Prenatal Corticosteroids does not Increase Children’s Death Rate
Source: Counsel & Heal http://bit.ly/GY1gP9 NATURAL BIRTH Birth gets the brain ready to sense the world
Source: Medical Xpress http://bit.ly/16iftMK Birth Prepares the Newborn Brain to Sense the World with Sensory Maps
My note: If this doesn't make people question epidural drugs, I do not know what will. There is an appropriate use for them, however wholesale acceptance looks to be irresponsible. Source: NewsWorks http://bit.ly/1fUyGgZ My note: So between messing with birth and introducing drugs...we have to wonder if we are changing the incidence of depression by continuing to question the idea that Birth Matters: Oxytocin Dysfunction Seen in Both Depressed Moms and Kids
Source: Medscape http://bit.ly/16icnbN
BABY Seattle Children’s researcher finds a clue to the mystery of SIDS
Source: Worcester Telegram & Gazette http://bit.ly/GY2YzP BREASTFEEDING This Is Breastfeeding In Real Life
Disclaimer: The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Mommy Con: January from Birth Without Fear
Posted on October 10, 2013 at 6:33 AM |
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Cassandra and I were part of the "media" contingent at MommyCon LA Babywearing World Record Event on Sunday, October 6, 2013. We had such a wonderful time walking the floor, meeting vendors and being inspired by the wonderful speakers as we looked and listened to bring all the happenings back to you. See the bottom of this posts for links to more of the activity! At 2:00 pm, the third person to take the stage on Sunday was January Harshe, founder of Birth Without Fear, sponsored by Nüroo. She started a facebook page with a simple message - that birth does not have to be scary, and that we have choices. That message has resonated and grown into an incredible community that is active on-line 24/7. Here are the notes I took as she delivered her message on Sunday: Choices – you do have a choice when it comes to birth. With her fourth child, she decided to have complete faith in her body. We are indoctrinated with unrealistic images of birth in the media – either it’s completely zen calm and peaceful (my note: and in the middle of nowhere somewhere beautiful), or it’s a major emergency when mother and baby need to have a life-saving operation. There is a choice not to cut – you can choose to birth via cesarean or vaginally – you can choose to breastfeed or pump or to give formula. The days when the OB told a mom what to do and how it’s going to go – that is changing. She's striving to make them numbered. January wants to tell as many women as possible that they have a choice: My body It’s up to me how I birth What is another mom going through? How does she need to heal? “This is my vagina – if I want to have a baby out of it – it’s my choice.” If you can’t find someone to support your choice – do more than sit online and complain. Start acting as a consumer – demand change. I heard a paradigm shift in her presentation: You hire your care provider to do a service. Find someone to do the job you want them to do. If they don’t listen, respect your choice, then you know it’s time to hire someone else. The last thing you want is to go home with a new baby and the trauma from a bad birth experience. Your care provider doesn’t have to live with your birth – you do. If there were no moms birthing in the hospitals any more, they would be quick to change their policies! We need to take the power back for ourselves – our daughters – our granddaughters. The feeling of “I rocked this birth – I can do anything” should not be rare and exclusive. We need to go into birth feeling supported and empowered. How we birth affects our postpartum experience. If you have postpartum depression, and you always feel like you are going to cry – Cry. It’s okay – you are still a good mom. (melt – I love this woman’s message!!) After a VBAC with her third child, within 15 minutes her care provider started tearing apart her birth and her choices and deflated her "VBAC high". The care provider was callous and careless, and her postpartum experience left her questioning herself. With her fourth child, she decided to get “in the zone”. She and her husband made their choice about how they were going to birth. If anyone came into “the zone” with negative energy, she punched them out (jabs at the air with a couple of side punches to the great delight of the audience) and went back into her “zone”. She birthed her baby without any drama, complications, and she had her family around her after the baby was born. They welcomed their new child together. Her postpartum experience was very different – down to the breastfeeding relationship. In talking with midwives at The Farm, they do not have any incidence of postpartum depression. One of the midwives stated that she thinks PPD is a symptom of nuclear family living in isolation. In communal living, women support and help each other; when they see a need, they take care of it. In nuclear family living, women are isolated and alone. It is seen as weakness to need help. January believes that we need other women. We need to cry and celebrate together, be okay with doing each other’s dishes, bringing meals, letting mamas take a shower. We need to support each other with no judgement and help each other with love. Empower birth. Support the postpartum period. My note…even more kudos to this woman for being there for the mamas at Mommy Con. She has her own conference coming up this weekend – not even a mention or a peep about it when she had the perfect platform for self-promotion. Truly she is a woman who is changing the world, one interaction at a time. Want more Mommy Con scoop?? HEREare my notes from Dr. Robert Sears - He talked about vaccinations during
pregnancy, postpartum, and for infants. HERE are the notes from Jessica Martin-Weber of The Leaky
[email protected]@b - Her talk was about parenting and being confident in our choices. HERE are the notes from Abby Theuring of The Badass
Breastfeeder - Her talk was about empowering breastfeeding as a society HERE is a link to our tour of the convention floor. HERE is a link to the Babywearing Fashion Show. HERE is a link to pictures of the Babywearing World Record.
Please leave us a comment - it will be moderated and posted. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Rally to Improve Birth 2013
Posted on July 16, 2013 at 6:59 PM |
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I first became aware of ImprovingBirth.org when they held their first rally last year. In order to bring awareness to the maternity health care crisis in our country, the organizers chose the date of Labor Day for the national event. This year, they are truly nation-wide – there is at least one rally planned in all 50 states, and as of today, it looks like they are up to eight international locations. What maternity health care crisis in the United States, you ask? Here is a look at the numbers. In the world:
So do you know why I find this so infuriating?
Are you motivated to stand with women, children and coaches to rally for
change? On September 2, 2013, from 10 a.m. – 12 noon local time, cities across the states are going to host a Rally to Improve Birth. The rally is not to promote one kind of birth over other kinds of births. It is not about bashing care providers and birthing facilities.
What is the message that Improving Birth is striving for? Here are some of the messages they hope to get across that day (hint...ideas for rally signs):
You can click HERE to find
your local rally (readers in the Phoenix, AZ area - local info at the bottom of this post): http://rallytoimprovebirth.com/find-a-rally-near-you/ If you can’t stand side-by-side with the families attending the rally, you can still participate. All the rallies are 100% volunteer organized – even a donation of $10.00 can help buy water to hydrate all the mamas, babies, coaches and care providers standing under the hot sun on Labor Day to bring awareness and change to the maternal healthcare system.
HERE is a story from an "eye-roller" at last year’s rally, to a supporter at this year’s rally. I would like to think that these stories are few and far between. Unfortunately, I know they are not. Due to my involvement in the birth community at large, I have personally heard stories from several women who felt completely violated by their care providers and the current standard of care. We can make a difference. We can stand together and insist that it is time to humanize birth again, to use evidence-based care, and to involve the birthing family as partners in their birth story. For more information, please visit their main website: Readers in the Phoenix, AZ area Here is the info on our local event: September 2, 2013 10:00 am to 12:00 pm Tempe Beach Park 54 West Rio Salado Parkway Tempe, Arizona 85281 To stay up-to-date on the local event, visit the Facebook Page. The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Shara
Posted on August 31, 2012 at 3:02 PM |
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This post
was written as part of Sweet Pea Birth’s "In Their Own Words" series.
For more info on the ITOW or if you want to participate, contact Krystyna
Bowman: krystyna{at} sweetpeabirths {dot} com. Today's
post is about breastfeeding after a cesarean. The
breastfeeding ITOW series runs through the month of August.
There's something magical about looking into
your baby's eyes for the first time while nursing. Nursing my
second little girl shortly after having her was amazing. It came so
naturally, like we had shared years of experience, but it was also so new and
exciting.
Leila was
my second baby and second cesarean section. She was my second attempt at
a natural labor; this time I thought I was so much more prepared. The
hurt of still not being able to bring my baby into the world the way I was made
to was lingering.
However,
nursing my little Leila was so very healing. Looking into her big brown
eyes helps to heal my disappointment even today because I know that regardless
of how she came out of my body, her body is beautiful and healthy thanks to the
breastmilk I provide for her. Other than healing emotionally, the beauty
of breastfeeding is that it helped to heal my body faster by shrinking the
uterus naturally.
After having
both babies via cesarean births, there were some things that I had to take into
consideration while nursing. Here are the lessons I learned with Jasmin,
my first baby, that I was able to use again with Leila: POSITIONING: I learned quickly that
nursing while lying down was extremely beneficial since I had to let my body
rest. So I propped her up on a pillow parallel to me and had my head on
the same pillow, so my top breast was at her level. I curled my body
around her, which prevented her from moving, and had a pillow between my legs
and one behind me, which prevented me from rolling either way. I would
let the baby nurse for a long time on the one side, then I'd have my husband
help me switch the pillow to the other side.
Not
only did this allow my body to heal, it also encouraged our bonding and
eventually led to co-sleeping, which I did not think I'd do prior to having
kids. I learned that it is the best way
for everyone in our family to get rest and also helps the children learn how to
sleep.
BABY CARRIER: With
my second, I didn't have much down time because my first needed my attention,
too. So I found a baby carrier that I could nurse in easily. This
allowed me to be able to still have the same interaction with my first, while
having the same bonding with my second. It also was a lot easier on my
body because I didn’t have to carry the heavy and clunky car seat.
SUPPORT GROUPS: With
my first, nursing didn't come so easily. I found a breastfeeding support
group and it made the difference for us. I was determined, yet I needed help
and encouragement. At the weekly meeting I learned that I could share my
accomplishments and struggles with other moms and learn from them as well; all
while watching our babies grow, and become playmates.
I decided
to attend the same support group with our second baby. Today
Leila is 5 months old. Nursing couldn't be better. We nurse on
demand and she is happy and healthy, and so am I.
I also had the aid of my encapsulated placenta after my second cesarean. I noticed it helped bring my milk in faster, helped with postpartum weepies, and the lochia (postpartum “menstruation”) stopped after only 3 weeks. Parting thoughts: There
are so many beneficial things about breastfeeding. Regardless of what
struggles a mom has, if there is a will there is a way. I've learned
through trial and error while having wonderful support. I have to say there is nothing in the world as
rewarding as giving my babies what they need: love, nourishment, and security
in mom's arms. Find a list of breastfeeding support groups click here Visit the ICAN-Phoenix Chapter website
Disclaimer: It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
In Their Own Words: Katie
Posted on August 3, 2012 at 8:16 AM |
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Katie Newton is an alumni mom from our Fall 2011 Class. She and her husband have three children. See more of Katie's "random thoughts and mutterings" by visiting her blog, http://kandidkatie.blogspot.com/ When
Ellie was born, I was going to breastfeed. There were no caveats, like
"if we can." There wasn't even "I'll try" in front of
it. That's just what you do, and I was going to do it. She came out
and latched like a leech. She was a champion feeder. By her third
day, however, she started getting fussy at the breast. She'd eat for 5 or
10 minutes and then start crying and wagging her head. I was so tired and
emotional that I reluctantly said "yes" when Mike asked if I wanted
him to go buy a pacifier. She happily took the pacifier after every feed
and often in between feeds. (I'm blessed with an overabundant supply, so
this did not affect our breastfeeding relationship to my knowledge at the
time.) Things
were not all sunshine and lollipops, though. Ellie screamed. Not
every-baby-cries screams. Blood-curdling screams. Any of the
twenty-four hours of the day were game. Her skin was burned with eczema.
This was not colic. This was suffering. It was not until
weeks later, under the guidance of a very knowledgeable lactation consultant,
Debbie, that I learned about food sensitivities and that Ellie had some bad
ones. I found this out by doing the elimination diet which,
while restrictive enough, is almost unbearable as a vegetarian. I ended
up going wheat free and dairy free for over a year, also not a picnic as a
vegetarian, for the sake of my daughter.
Around
two weeks after Ellie's birth, breastfeeding suddenly became excruciating.
When she latched, I felt paralyzing electricity throughout my torso.
It got so bad that I would crumple into a crying, hysterical mess of a
panic attack in the ANTICIPATION of her need to eat. After discussing the
issue at length with my first lactation consultant, Mary, she thought I had an
intraductal yeast infection. I did two or three rounds of antifungal
medication (under the care of my OB) with no improvement. I also pumped
exclusively during this time but for one breastfeeding session to make sure
Ellie was still willing and able. She was. After three weeks of no
relief, Mary directed me to her associate, Debbie.
Debbie
felt like the cause was Raynaud's Phenomenon. She was right. Not
only was Ellie's breastfeeding triggering the "attacks," as I call
them, because that's how they feel, but my pump flanges were way too small and
basically ripping off my nipples a little bit every time I pumped.
Additionally, Ellie had a tongue-tie, but it never got fixed because the
go-to doctor had apparently lost his mind (a story for another day).
Thankfully, it stretched on its own over time. (Interested side
note: I discovered only recently, with Ellie almost 4.5 years old, that she
also had a lip tie. We never looked for it, so we never saw it. She
ripped it by accident one day. Problem solved.)
Now
that I had the causes uprooted, I started the healing process. I kept my
nipples warm and covered (which really complicates showering, by the way...I've
since gotten a Shower Hug, which helps immensely). I did salt water
soaks, which is no dignified practice. Most of all, I waited. By
the time Ellie was seven weeks old, I felt brave enough to give breastfeeding a
go. Ellie latched on like we never had a break, and it didn't hurt.
I was flooded with relief. But then I started seeing the symptoms
of food sensitivities again, big time. The screaming and gas and
fussiness at the breast were back.
Once
again, Debbie came to rescue. She recognized I had oversupply. She
educated me about block feeding, which is feeding on one side exclusively for a
number of hours instead of counting feeds. (There's more to it than that.
Please consult a lactation consultant.) I had to go to the maximum
recommended block before I saw an improvement. I did this for a number of
weeks before it stopped working. No, my supply didn't go crazy.
Ellie turned four months old and suddenly had an opinion. She
decided she only wanted my fast-flowing side during feeds in public.
(Yes, sides can differ greatly from one another.) She was always a
down-to-business eater, and this way she could maximize her time observing the
world outside her home. I had to plan ahead, feeding the right side at
home and remembering to feed the left at home if we weren't going anywhere...it
was like learning to breastfeed all over again. Thankfully my supply was
pretty stable at this point. The pacifier also helped us deal with the
oversupply, but I still wish we hadn't used it.
Ellie
was still nursing at least 8 times a day at 14 months old, when I found out we
were expecting Mikey. I dreamed of tandem nursing the two. I
daydreamed, planned, read up on how to handle the challenges. I was
partway through Adventures in Tandem Nursing when Ellie's
nursing dropped by half. Instead of 8-12 times a day at 14 months, she
was now nursing 4-6 times a day at 15 months. Then 2-3 times a day at 16
months. Then, one weekend, she nursed once on Saturday, once on Sunday
morning, May 31st, and she was done at only 16.5 months old. For a
week I offered the breast, but that made her angry, even if she willingly got in
position first. I was DEVASTATED. I blamed - and still blame - the
pacifier. I blamed myself for letting her have the pacifier. My head
was spinning with confusion and disbelief and outright denial. I was a
complete mess. For a month, my husband could only rub my back while I
cried. I felt like my child had died. My response was primal...
. ..and
compounded by my knowledge that I would not get to tandem nurse my two
children.
After
that first month that felt like the end of the world, I focused on thoughts of
nursing my new baby and the possibility that Ellie would be interested again
when she saw Mikey nursing. He came almost exactly four months later.
He was a little reluctant to nurse after delivery, but gentle
determination on my part got him going, and he ate a good first meal. We
spent the next 36 hours in the hospital thanks to the unnecessary use of
antibiotics (another story for another day). In that time, Mikey nursed
once or twice. (In case you have any questions, that is NOT acceptable
for a newborn, and no, we did not have him circumcised.) The lactation
consultant was so backed up that she didn't get to us until the end of that time.
She watched him think about latching and said he was doing everything
right. I argued that he wouldn't nurse. She shrugged and said he'd
get it. My gut said no, but my heart wanted so badly to believe she was
right.
On
the third day, I changed his diaper and saw red. Literally. Red
"brick dust," a sign of dehydration. My heart broke. Not
only was I not getting the breastfeeding relationship I dreamed of, I was
hurting my child through delusion and hope. I started to pump. For
ten months, I tried everything to get him to breastfeed. (He was also
tongue tied, severely, but the repair - by a wonderful, not-crazy doctor - did
not help.) This was stressful enough without the additional medical
sucker punches that just kept flying. He was aspirating, so he had a
feeding tube for ten weeks, from five to seven months old. Breastfeeding
dreams quickly fading. He had feeding therapy with professionals who had
no intention of getting him on the breast. Breastfeeding dreams circling
the drain.
He
had 3-5 doctor visits and 3-4 therapy appointments a week, leaving little to no
time to pump, let alone work on breastfeeding. Before he even got the
tube, we were supplementing with formula because I couldn't produce enough even
with the hospital-grade pump I was now renting. Me, with my oversupply,
and I couldn't extract enough milk for my child. By ten months, he was
lucky to get an ounce of my milk. I gave up. I still pumped for
four more months, but I was only getting a half ounce a day at the end.
There just wasn't time during the day, and I had to choose sleep at
nights. I returned the pump when he was 14 months old. (He also had
food sensitivities, so I was dairy free for the 14 months I pumped.)
I
continued to produce milk for about seven more months, and my hope held out for
that long. It wasn't positive hope. It was desperate, painful hope.
I longed for another baby so that Mikey might become interested through
example. Don't get me wrong; I wanted another baby just because I was
ready for another baby, but that nagging hope was like an accelerant.
When Mikey was 18 months old, we got pregnant on our first try. As
was God's will, I miscarried right at five weeks. We tried again the next
month and succeeded again. I focused my thoughts on having the birth I
wanted and declared, regularly, that this baby WOULD breastfeed like a pro.
I prayed every night that she, Angela, would be normal and healthy and a
breastfeeding champ.
Angela
was born on Monday night in a tub at a birth center. No drugs. Delayed
cord clamping. Uninterrupted bonding. At first she fussed at the
breast. I started to panic but had the clarity to recognize a stuffy
nose. Once she was lovingly suctioned, she latched right on and nursed
for two hours straight. I thanked God and tried to ignore her clicking
sounds and the familiar electricity feeling. We went to my parents' house
that night, and I slept upright in a chair and fed her on demand. The
pain and clicking got worse with each feed. She started to struggle to
get enough. I got in ASAP to see Debbie. Angela had a terrible
posterior tongue tie and a lip tie. I called the wonderful doctor, but he
couldn't get me in for over a week. I couldn't bear the pain, so I
started finger feeding. This was all on the Thursday after she was born.
Saturday
night around 9pm, when I realized it would be hours more before I got to eat
dinner, I let Mike give her a bottle. This crushed me. I saw my
breastfeeding dreams once again circling the drain. I kept reminding
myself about Ellie's success after the bottle and focused on the next week's
appointment. That would fix everything. Finally the big day came.
I excitedly handed her over to the doctor, waited for him to confirm the
diagnosis and prepared myself to witness the procedure, just as I did with
Mikey. He confirmed the diagnosis and then instructed me to schedule the
procedure. Wait, what? It would be another week before he could do
it, as he changed his policy about doing it at the first appointment. I
bawled. I'd given one child to him before, and even though it didn't
help, here I was, fully trusting him again, and he was treating me like a first
timer. I was furious. I understood his position, but my dreams were
fading with each passing day. Plus, Angela was starting to refuse the
bottle, and feeding was becoming a concern.
We
managed to keep her fed until the procedure. I wasn't allowed to watch
this time, but it was over very quickly. When i went back in the room,
the wonderful doctor was cuddling and rocking my baby and chattering on
excitedly about how successful it had been and how deep he'd had to go.
But there was little improvement. I gave it time, a week, but it
seemed to get worse instead of better. Debbie said that there was still
more tie there. I scheduled another appointment. Another week of
waiting.
During
this time, I put Angela on the breast almost daily since a feed or two a day
didn't cause too much damage. Finally we went to the appointment.
The doctor agreed there was more or it had reattached. He agreed to
try again. At his other office. The next week. I didn't cry
this time. Crying didn't help.
We
went in for our fourth appointment. Angela was six weeks old.
Everything went as before. The doctor went as deep as he could but
still couldn't get all of the tie. I didn't care. I knew this was
it. I knew he "fixed" her. She started breastfeeding
perfectly that afternoon. She still clicked because her palate was - and
is - still high, but there was no pain. She was able to eat her fill.
God had worked a miracle.
Angela
is now 19 weeks old and eats like a horse. I struggled with oversupply
and finding my block feeding balance for a couple of weeks and even battled
postpartum depression for a spell as my hormones worked themselves out.
She has food sensitivities, too, so I've had to do the restriction dance
again. I haven't been a vegetarian since the day Mikey was born, so the
diet is more forgiving. I've learned to take tons of pictures of my
nursling because I am so awed and grateful to have this relationship. I'm
still sad that I haven't had my tandem experience, but I hold out hope for
another baby. I also tell Angela that she'd better nurse until she's four
or five, but I'm just happy to know there is nothing standing in the way of her
deciding when she's ready to wean.
I
make milk. What's YOUR superpower?
For the pre-quel to this post, visit Katie's blog: http://kandidkatie.blogspot.com/2011/02/it-may-not-be-loss-in-your-eyes-but-im.html Disclaimer: It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains
information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is
not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or
the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Postpartum Ideas
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 11:22 AM |
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After a baby is born and the female body is flooded with
endorphins, a mama who has had minimal interference with the natural process
will be completely alert, awake and responsive to the needs of her newborn
child. Hopefully she gets some sleep
after the endorphins wear off. Next
starts the babymoon and the parade of people – family and friends coming by to
help the new family, well-wishers bringing gifts of food. Mama is supported and loved and maybe she
gets some sleep as others ease her burden.
Then life happens…and mama and baby are left to fend for themselves
while everyone who was supporting the motherbaby gets on with their life: Coach goes back to work, friends stop
bringing food, or maybe after a visit the clean-up duties are left to the mama. The stress in this situation can be compounded by other
dynamics. When a mama has not had a
natural-ish birth she wanted, or maybe she is healing from the physical and/or
emotional experience of a cesarean birth, she might be stressed. Maybe there are feeding issues due to the
learning curve or a physical limitation to the nursing relationship. Maybe there are siblings in the family who
are also adjusting to the new family member.
Maybe there are pets acting out as they try to figure out the new family
dynamic. All these stressors start to
affect a mama’s well-being. As a mama starts to lose sleep and add stress, the concern I
have is two-fold: First of all, she may
affect her milk supply. The second
concern is that she will experience more than just the baby blues as her body
re-adjusts hormone levels after pregnancy.
Without adequate sleep, she could easily escalate to post-partum
depression. The condition has many symptoms;
the one that concerns me the most is when women think about or actually do
bodily harm to themselves and/or their children. Sleep: Find help after
the babymoon is over. Will your
life-house-sibling parenting be perfect right after baby arrives? No way, no how. The important thing is to be aware that the
situation is temporary. If you allow
yourself some breathing room, you can recover from birth and get back into your
“normal” sooner than later. Coach has to go back to work? Beg, borrow or steal time when you can. Be okay with letting things go around the
house. Pick one room to keep clean if
that is important to you, maybe the one where you spend the most time. The rest can wait until you have recovered
from your birth. Coach gets home from
work – pass him the baby and go take a nap. Have other kiddos?
Set up a “meal train” and let other people help with feeding your
family. Let them know about your food
restrictions. Our friends introduced us
to some new gluten-free foods after Angelika was born – it was awesome. No support from family or friends? Hire a postpartum doula to help care for baby
or your housework so you can sleep. Many
of these women are willing to barter if needed – most of us in the birth
business are more concerned about the mother/baby than we are about getting
paid in money. Another obvious yet harder-to-do as we are more technology
dependent, is to turn off the gadgets.
Put away your phone; turn off your computer. The world revolved long before there was app
for it. If you are tired, don’t allow
yourself the distraction. It’s amazingly
freeing to go a few “wireless” days.
Trust me when I tell you that you can always catch up later. There is no one more important than you and
baby in the first days of recovery, or if your baby blues are getting worse
instead of better. Birth experience:
There are many support groups to help a mama process her birth, as will
as books and classes. In the Phoenix
area, birth mentor Alejandrina Vostreja has a class for moms/coaches who want to process their birth experience. You
can talk to your doula or assistant coaches to put together any missing pieces
you and your coach don’t remember or didn’t notice due to being in the
moment. You can attend a birth circle (click here and scroll down for AZ
groups) to share your story in a non-judgmental and supportive setting. If you had a cesarean, you can attend an ICAN
meeting, another non-judgmental and supportive setting. Feeding Issues: After
being around the birth world for a few years, I would definitely recommend
finding the help that is appropriate for the situation. Peer-to-peer help, i.e., La Leche League, is
good for a painful latch or general adjusting to motherhood. A certified breastfeeding counselor (they
have completed a course to help mothers) is the next step if peer counseling
doesn’t answer your concerns. If you
have issues such as a baby who is losing weight or continued fussiness at the
breast, then go straight to finding and making arrangements to meet with an
IBCLC. They have completed a rigorous
training program and they are internationally certified to be the gold-standard
– they are the real deal when it comes to calling themselves a Lactation
Consultant. Feeding issues can be heart-breaking if you are committed to
breastfeeding. It helps to keep the big
picture in mind…this is a bump in the road.
Learning to breastfeed takes at least four to six weeks, especially if
this is your first time breastfeeding, if your baby is a preemie, or if your baby has “technical”
issues like a tongue-tie
that need to be addressed, and baby essentially has to gain strength or
re-learn how to suckle at the breast. My friend Debbie Gillespie, IBCLC, RLC, taught me that the
most important to-do is to feed the baby.
Pick the one thing that you are willing to do this time – and just deal
with one feeding at a time. As in labor,
it’s hard to deal with the emotions and discomfort if you think about how long
it’s going to go on… by addressing the feeding right now, and only the one
right now, you can ease the stress that will affect your milk supply if it
rises unchecked. It is also important to remember that breastfeeding is much
more than breastmilk. By putting your
baby to the breast, even if it’s just suckling, that’s a start. You are bonding skin-to-skin, you are letting
your baby “talk” to your body, it is giving your body the message to keep
making milk because there is a human baby to feed. It is your baby transferring it’s needs to
your body so your body can make the quality of milk your baby needs for that
time window (antibodies, vitamins, minerals, lactose*, protein, fat). Hopefully your unique “formula” is already
made and transferred into the storage containers you are using. Siblings: Ask a babysitter to come play with the older
children while you and baby nap. Plan
unique activities for them to do with the kiddos. Another option is to bring out special toys
that only come out when a new baby is born so that they look forward to the
arrival of the new sibling. You can also make a twist in the “family bed” concept. Have
your child(ren) bring you books or toy sets to play with on the bed so that you
can be comfortable, be skin-to-skin with baby and still pay attention to older
siblings. It’s great for baby to hear
language, whether it’s reading aloud or playing with the other children. It’s great for the other children to share
time with baby and still get your attention. If family is in town after baby arrives to help, be clear
about who needs help and what you want done.
As much as they may want to hold the new baby, the baby is your
responsibility. Utilize their time to do
special activities with the older siblings – they can hold the baby when you
siblings are napping or in school. It’s
nice for the kiddos to have someone they feel is dedicated to them while mom
takes care of baby. Pets: The best first
job we ever provided a neighbor was after we had Ysabella. Our dogs had been used to walking twice a day
– and that just wasn’t possible as I was healing from my episiotomy. We hired a neighborhood kiddo to come by after
school to walk our dogs – they were happy and I healed. After everything was better, I started
walking them in the mornings again, and our neighbor kept up the afternoon
walks. I had time with baby, the dogs
got their walks – life was good! I can’t
speak for cats – maybe someone else can do that in the comments. We have also had students give away pets to a loving home
before baby arrives. Recently, some
students found a home for their pets in their neighborhood. They will still get to see their pets on
occasion. They also offered to pet-sit
when their new owners go out of town. It
is one of the best solutions we have heard of through our time teaching Bradley
Method® classes. If you are going to change any rules, it’s a good idea to do
that before baby comes, so that pets don’t necessarily associate a change they
don’t like with the new family member.
Another great tool we used to acclimate our pets was the Preparing Fido CD. I imagine it could work to acclimate a variety of animals to baby sounds – again,
trying to ease the transition before baby arrives. This is just a short list of possible fixes to help
alleviate postpartum stress. The most
important thing to remember as you make and execute your postpartum plan is to
take care of mom and baby first.
Everything else is secondary. I will close by saying that encapsulating our placenta made
the biggest difference in our postpartum experience for our last baby. I did not experience postpartum depression
this time; my milk supply was and remains awesome; it was our best postpartum
ever. Here is some basic information on it – I will be writing up more detail about
our experience in a future post. I
encourage you to look into it and ask more questions to see if it might be
right for you. *A lactose-intolerant baby is not allergic to your
milk. The intolerance is for the dairy
products made by a cow for their baby. Click here to read more about one mom’s journey through lactose-intolerance. Disclaimer: The
material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. More on Postpartum Plans: Links list: Post partum depression Birthin’ Again Mentor International Cesarean Awareness Network Intl: http://ican-online.org/ Tongue Tie Preparing Fido |
Energy for Pregnancy and Labor
Posted on January 10, 2012 at 9:37 AM |
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So what are ways of increasing your energy during pregnancy,
or additionally, your labor, if you are feeling low energy?
Abdominal
Breathing We talk about it often in class – deep abdominal breathing
is one of the best ways to increase oxygen in your body while still maintaining
a deep level of relaxation. Chest breathing wastes a tremendous amount of energy. “Chest breathing is inefficient because the
greatest amount of blood flow occurs in the lower lobes of the lungs, areas
that have limited air expansion in chest breathers. Rapid, shallow, chest
breathing results in less oxygen transfer to the blood and subsequent poor
delivery of nutrients to the tissues.”
- From http://www.amsa.org/healingthehealer/breathing.cfm Abdominal breathing can also eliminate the vicious circle of
the fear-tension-pain cycle.
By relaxing, you can stop the chest breathing that causes
tension that causes pain; the pain causes fear; fear causes more chest
breathing that winds up until mom and/or baby are showing signs of distress
that leads to more intervention.
Trace Minerals Birth is an athletic event, whether you have a
sprint, marathon or something in between.
The more vigorous your labor is, the more important it is to restore
your body’s supply of minerals. Exercise and stress, both of which may be
present during labor, can drain the body of electrolytes and trace minerals, elements
needed to maintain proper fluid balance and recharge energy levels.
In addition, energy is passed through the body
via electrical charges. In order to work
well, properly functioning electrical cellular communication is essential. Minerals act as catalysts for the biological processes in the body,
including muscle response, the transmission of messages through the nervous
system, and the utilization of nutrients in food. All of these are essential if you want the
most efficient labor possible.
Strive
to find a trace mineral supplement with a flavor you can tolerate. At the very least look for an electrolyte
drink that will help replenish the minerals you need and might be using up
through the course of late pregnancy and delivery.
Take a Nap Whether you are tired during the day when you are pregnant,
or feeling exhaustion set in during labor, a nap is a great solution to help
mom and dad face their labor with renewed energy and confidence. A twenty-minute nap is a very effective tool
for increasing alertness. If you can get
a 30-60 minute nap it helps with decision-making skills. Both of those would be beneficial in labor.
I wonder what students picture as the length of nap when we
encourage them to sleep during their labor. I think most of them must imagine a
2-3 hour nap, think it is impossible and cross it off the list since so few of
them have been able to nap in their labor.
We know from experience that sleeping can be incredibly restorative
during labor. If Coach can convince Mom
that just twenty minutes will do her well, remind Mom she doesn’t have to
hunker down for a long time. Mom will
not miss out on anything by sleeping just twenty minutes; in fact, you can
drastically change your outcome by being rested.
So turn off the lights, wrap her in a comforting blanket and
stroke or talk her to sleep with your soothing voice. If Mom responds to music, find some
relaxation tunes to play for her. Maybe
use an eye mask to block out light – it seems to be easier to fall asleep when
it is dark.
Go for a Walk We encourage all our students to be walking at least twenty
minutes per day from the first day of class until the day they have their
baby. Regular physical exercise not only
increases stamina, it also helps energize the body. During the day or during a low-energy point
in labor, a walk might be in order.
A change in pace or scenery can help restore energy. I am not talking about constant walking to
speed labor, especially if you start with contractions that are more than ten
minutes apart. If your contractions
start that far apart, a good meal and rest are in order to conserve energy.
My first question to a tired couple is, “Can you get mom to
sleep?” If that doesn’t work, it is
possible that a walk around the building or around the block doing abdominal
breathing will oxygenate and wake up your body when you need to restore
energy. Eat protein-rich
snacks Click here to read my list of good choices for labor
snacks. They are high in protein and
complex carbs. I try to avoid processed
sugars or starches that rapidly convert to sugar – no need to repeat the
effects of a quick sugar up and down that we saw in class tonight!
Drink water If you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated and it’s time
to get mom some plain water to get her fluid level back up. In labor, the body is working in ways that
you cannot measure. Water is crucial to
get the hormones that stimulate and regulate labor circulating effectively
throughout the body.
Early signs of dehydration include thirst, loss of appetite,
dry mouth and head rushes. If Mom has a
desire to eat, she needs to be eating to store energy for the point in labor
when she is no longer hungry. If this
suppressed due to dehydration, she will miss out on her opportunity to store
energy. Head rushes can lead to an
untimely fall, which could potentially change the course of your labor
depending on the severity of the fall.
Continued dehydration can lead to increased heart rate,
increased temperature, fatigue and headaches…which could also be construed as
the mother going into distress. You can
absolutely head off a false distress warning in labor by making sure Mom is
drinking eight ounces of water per hour, or chewing on ice if that is what she
prefers. If Mom is hydrated and this
happens, then you know it’s time to pay attention and alert your care provider.
A side note on hydration: if Coach is good about getting Mom
the necessary water, Coach also needs to be good about getting her to the
bathroom. A full bladder can lead to
unnecessary pain in labor if the baby’s head is pushing against a full
bladder. It might also impede the
progress of labor if the baby’s head is blocked from entering the vaginal canal
by a full bladder.
Figure out what
works for you. Conserving energy is extremely important because you don’t
know how long you will be in labor. There
isn’t much we can control about labor if you follow the course for a natural
birth. You can influence how rested you
feel. It would be unfortunate to end up
with medication, an episiotomy or a cesarean if the only factor for that choice
is being too tired to make it through with the energy you needed to meet your
baby.
What are the energy saving or energy
restoring methods that you use? Would you like to read more about today’s suggestions?
For information on the minerals you need and how your body
uses them: Start a Walking Program
While you are pregnant, focus on walking for energy and
stamina. After your baby is born you can
consider the suggestions on walking for weight loss. More about dehydration:
http://www.symptomsofdehydration.com/effects-of-dehydration.htm Disclaimer: The material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. March 5, 2012 to May 21, 2012 For more information or to register, please call us at 602-684-6567 or email us at |
Some Postpartum Strategies
Posted on November 18, 2011 at 3:09 PM |
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As a general rule, the fewer interventions you have during
your birth, the easier your breastfeeding relationship will be to
establish. This leads to a mom who
recovers from her birth experience feeling competent in her abilities to
nourish her child. If mom is physically well
and mentally well after her birth experience, she is less likely to have
postpartum depression, which has been known for years as the “baby blues”. So what do you do after baby arrives and you are adjusting
to life with a newborn? The best way to figure
out what works for you is to embrace two ideas: 1. Baby
has three needs that need to be met: (s)he wants to be fed, clean & dry and loved. 2. Mom
has three needs, too: she needs to be rested, fed and loved. Ask yourself what has to happen so your needs can be met,
and make you fully available to meet the needs of your baby. As adults, we all have different ideas of
what being loved means. Can you write a
postpartum plan that makes you feel loved and nurtured? Here are some ideas that I have learned, heard shared at
Birth Circle and from moms in our classes. This is at the top of my list because we just had the
easiest postpartum ever. If you are
feeling well emotionally, everything else that comes with the postpartum period
is so much easier to handle. We had our placenta encapsulated using the traditional
Chinese method. The theory is that the
body is in a warm state when a woman is pregnant, and cold when she is
not. By taking the placenta pills on a
daily basis and weaning yourself down over the weeks following the baby’s
birth-day, the body gently transitions back to a cold state. I will write more about our experience is another post. For your info today, here are the benefits
listed on our encapsulator’s website: increase a mother’s energy levels
postpartum, help
to regulate hormones (especially thyroid), increase milk supply, reduce pain
and expedite
healing. Who wouldn’t want these
benefits? My only regret is that we
don’t have more of these “happy pills”.
I wish we had done this with our other births. This
is a hard one for many of us. We take
pride in being self-sufficient and getting things done, so “admitting” that we
can’t do it all is a big step on our journey.
How big is your list of things you get done every day and/or week? Evaluate it with the “Drop-Delegate-Do” approach. What are the things that you can let go for a
few weeks? What are things that you can
delegate? What is left that you need to
do? Once
you have that list pared down to what you need to do, look at it again. Who can do that list for you for at least the
first week, if not two, after your baby is born? As I mentioned earlier, sleep and rest are
the two biggest gifts you can give yourself after your baby is born. Your body heals when you are sleeping. Your mind resets when you are sleeping. All your systems function better when you
allow yourself to recover, and birth is an athletic event – for some of us, the
most demanding event in which we will ever participate. This
idea is much harder to grasp with your first child. It’s hard to believe that having a baby is
going to have as big an impact on our bodies and our lives as we hear it
will. There is so much unknown: what
will I feel, how tired can I really be, will I be in pain, will I be a good
mother? These anxieties, on top of feeling immensely uncomfortable at the end
of pregnancy, may lead to sleepless nights even before baby arrives. As I hope you can see, making sleep a
priority after baby arrives is a key to setting yourself up for a better
postpartum period. Here
is the advice I share with our students who are neat-freaks like me. I suggest that they figure out which one room
their well-being rests with – which dirty room sends you “over the edge”? Make keeping that room clean the
priority. My husband and my mom were
great at keeping our kitchen clean, and that made it easier for me to let go of
the mess in the rest of the house. After
a couple of weeks, you can start keeping your house again with some of your
pre-pregnancy vigor without sacrificing sleep and your sanity. Another area in which you should ask for help is with any breastfeeding concerns or challenges. Unless you saw someone breastfeeding on a regular basis and learned how they did it, there is a low probability that a breastfeeding class here or there, or reading online or a book will give you the answers you need. Peer-to-peer help or paid help are both available. Get help! Debbie Gillespie, IBCLC, RLC has some very informative posts on our blog - but your best bet is to see her or another warm, informed body in person!! A
postpartum doula is a great option if you don’t have family or friends
available to help you rest and recover after the baby arrives. The ideal situation would allow both mom and
dad time to sleep and enjoy their new baby while other people take care of
them. Your baby is only a newborn once! Food
is paramount on the list of things that make postpartum easier. Mom needs to eat to recover and to nourish
baby, Dad needs to eat to stay happy and have the energy to take care of mom
and baby, and if there are other children in the family, they need to be fed,
too. Meals: (1)
Consider making double portions of your meals when you are two weeks out from
your estimated due date. Freeze the
extras – make sure you date and label the food because it looks different when
it’s frozen! You can also have a cooking
day and make big batches of one-dish meals to be frozen. It is easier to defrost if you freeze it in
portion size and/or prepare it in containers that can go from freezer to oven
(conventional or microwave might make a difference as you do you planning). (2) Meals make great baby gifts! You can have a sign up sheet at your baby
shower, or maybe your church or a dear friend will organize meals after the
baby arrives. The folks who sign up can
be organized via on-line methods these days.
This was one of the most cherished gifts we received as we adjusted to
being and feeding a family of six. (3) Prepare a list of your favorite take out
places and make sure you have extra copies.
One of our moms shared this idea in class – she gave a copy to her
husband and he would call orders in for dinner on the way home from work. If you don’t think your partner knows what
you would like, also include your order next to the name, address and phone
number for your favorite take-out restaurants.
Some of them even deliver – score! Breastfeeding: Bradley
Method® students who keep up with their nutrition tracking are very aware of
what they eat on a daily basis. We
suggest that our students keep on tracking, or at least stay aware of their
intake for a minimum of four weeks after baby arrives. If the baby is going to have any reaction to
what you eat, it’s easier to figure out what to take out if you are keeping
track. One of our moms offered this
information: If it’s an allergy, it
takes time for the body to show signs since it’s an immune response. It it’s a reaction, its usually immediate and
you’ll know within 24 hours if your baby’s gut didn’t like what you ate. An
allergy to a food is something you would have to cut out of your diet long-term
– baby’s skin can be an indicator if there is a rash or irritation that doesn’t
go away, another sign I have heard anecdotally is blood and/or mucus in the
stool. A reaction indicates food you
need to take out for a little while and try again later when you are willing to
risk the side effects: vomiting, fussiness, more gas than normal are signs that
your baby wasn’t ready for what you ate and you can try again later. Another
breastfeeding or feeding older sibling tip is to have snack food readily
available and packed in serving sizes.
Carrot sticks, cheese sticks, nuts, granola, protein snack bars are all
good ideas for food that will nourish without sending your sugar (or your
children’s) spiking before a crash. For
a more complete list, check out my post on labor food ideas – the same foods will
work postpartum. My
crunchy friends are really good about packing these snacks in reusable
containers. Personally, I sacrifice a
little environment during the postpartum period to save time and water doing
dishes, and we pack food in snack size bags so that the kids can throw the bag
out when they are done. Dad can spend
about an hour once a week stocking the snack shelf and once you are feeling up
to it, you can take over and do it as long as you feel a need for nursing
snacks. The
underlying idea is to make them grab-and-go so that you can eat a little
something every time you nurse to keep your nutrition where it needs to be to
nourish your growing child. Nursing is a
great appetite builder, as hunger is a great mood downer – so do what you can
to stay fed between meals. I
am going to have to wrap up here today.
Part of my postpartum plan is to sleep at night so that I am “Happy
Mommy” during the day – none of us like seeing “Cranky Mommy” – she is no
fun!! Which means that I am no longer
carving writing time out of my sleeping hours and I have four kiddos clamoring
for attention at lunchtime. I have left
lots of idea room for our readers – please fill in the rest of this list: If
you are a new mommy, what are the questions you have that I didn’t address in todays
or Tuesdays post? If
you are already a mommy, what are postpartum tips do you have to share?
Disclaimer: The
material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
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