Chandler, Arizona
Sweet Pea ​Births
Sweet Pea ​Births
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
...celebrating every swee​t pea their birth
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Angels
| Posted on August 30, 2011 at 7:42 PM |
 "This
week we remember all babies born sleeping, or whom we have carried but
never met, or those we have held but could not take home, or the ones
that came home but didn't stay. Make this your profile status if you or
someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do
it, because unlike cancer, baby loss is still a taboo subject. Break the
silence. In memory of all lost angels. ♥" ~ Source Unknown Have
you ever seen this status on Facebook? (To give credit where credit is due, I also paraphrased the quote on today's landing page from a quote I found on the page for a miscarriage group on facebook - see the Resource List for a link to the group.) We had planned to end
Breastfeeding Awareness Month with a post from Coach Bruss...look for
that on Friday. In the meantime, since I am punting and this subject of
baby loss has touched me in some form three times in the last few weeks, I thought I
would share some additional resources and offer some new insights I
have gained thanks to other people being generous with their stories of overcoming adversity. It
is especially hard to write about this as we are now in our 34th week
of pregnancy. I take comfort in the fact that pregnancy and infant loss
is very rare. Most of us will have healthy, term babies who go on to
live full lives well into their adulthood. I have read that the chance
of pregnancy or perinatal loss is less than one percent. So how do you
deal with that loss if you are among that so small percentage of people who
lose their precious child when the rest of the world is rejoicing at
birth? Inevitably their is someone with an infant or nursing their baby
when you are in public. How do you live without breaking down every
time you leave your home? If you are in this devastating situation, I hope and pray that some of the information that follows helps you manage day by day as you come to terms with your loss. If you are a friend or support person for a family that has experienced loss, please share what might be appropriate for their situation and maybe some of these resources can serve you, too. What
can you do when your unborn child is diagnosed with a terminal condition that
has a high chance of stillbirth or loss in childhood? You are usually
presented with two choices in these situations: you can carry the pregnancy to term and
possibly face a loss at the beginning of life or very likely within the first few years of life; or you can terminate the pregnancy
before you get much further in gestational life. I
saw one mom who commemorated her experience with a pregnancy photo session.
She and her partner had already chosen a name for their baby. She found an
artist who painted her pregnant belly with her baby’s name and an image
of her son wearing angel wings. No matter what her outcome, she will
always have those beautiful artistic photos of a very special time in
her life that she shared with her living, unborn son. How about when your delivery goes wrong and your healthy, living baby is suddenly and inexplicably stillborn? I
heard one of the most profound and touching birth stories I have heard
to-date at a meeting I attended recently. A mom shared that everything was
going well until...and then the next thing they know, their baby is
gone. She and her husband had time to hold their baby, which she said
was so very special and precious. They have grieved and continue to grieve together. At the same time, they have decided to focus on the positive. Both of them believe that this baby’s birth and death have a purpose and
they are accepting of it and loving their child every day by talking
about her within the family and when the opportunity presents itself, sharing her story. The family has made a gift of her short
life already. As this mother is an organ donor, it made sense to her to
donate her baby’s organs - they are now providing the gift of life for children who had bleak futures until they received her organs. The mother is also donating her milk -
she says that she thinks of her baby in heaven every time she pumps and
she finds that thought comforting. She has been faithful in pumping since the loss and she has been donating her milk to a friend of hers
who adopted a baby. This adopted baby had a brain that was incomplete
at birth due to the birth mother’s drug use. Since that baby switched
from formula to breast milk, her scans have shown an increase in her
brain mass and she is starting to hit developmental milestones. What an
amazing legacy for a little girl who never breathed in her parents arms
and whose time on earth was so very short. This
family also grieved by spreading her ashes at memorial events in their
home states with their extended family. As I listened to the story and
watched this mom speak, I was moved by her faith and the journey she has
taken in the last few weeks. She has taken a situation of utter
despair and turned it into one of love and sharing. What
if your baby is born with a known or unknown childhood complication and
it becomes apparent that they are not going to live very long? There
are two women here in Arizona who through their own experiences
identified a need for perinatal hospice care. They met at a MISS
support group meeting and realized that they could serve others through
their own experiences, and thus came the idea for providing hospice
services tailored to families who were dealing with the imminent loss of
their infants. They support families by coordinating between the medical community and the family, they offer anticipatory grief education & emotional support, they help with the creation of birth and death plan, help organize memory making/keepsakes, and offer individualized childbirth education and professional doula services to make the most of the baby's birth experience. Here are some of their stated goals: *To help families emotionally prepare for birth and death by creating a circle of support around them
* To help families understand their babies diagnosis and the probable outcome
* To help families make decisions based on the love they have for their baby
*
To assist families in cherishing the time between diagnosis and birth/death To see a complete list of their goals, services and the hospice care they are
offering, click on the CARE link below. There is also a book that I learned of recently that may be helpful if you know of someone who might be experiencing the loss of a newborn: A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby's Life Is Expected to Be Brief by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. I
can only hope and pray that everything goes well with our birth and
that we will be blessed with a healthy, whole child who will grow up to
be a vibrant, giving and whole adult. If for some reason that is not
the plan for any of our children, I hope and pray that I will find
comfort in some degree in such a manner as these families have
demonstrated. Blessings to all. Disclaimer: The
material included on this site is for informational purposes only. It
is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical
advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider
to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own
situation. This blog contains information about our classes available in
Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The
Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily
reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of
Husband-Coached Childbirth®. Resource List Comfort and Resource Enhancement, or CARE, Program Upon referral from perinatologist, The MISS Foundation's Perinatal
Palliative C.A.R.E.S. Program provides support to families facing poor
prenatal diagnoses. Perinatal Hospice and Pallative Care Resource website for families and caregivers that lists books, resources and hospice programs on a countrywide basis. Angel Baby - Miscarriage and loss Arizona Perinatal Loss Bereavement Resource Banner Desert Medical Center 1400 S. Dobson Road, Mesa, 85202 480-512-3595 Provides
a network of support for those experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss.
This resource gives parents a statewide network of support, current
bereavement literature on a variety of topics, educational opportunities
and resources in the community, state and national level. The Compassionate Friends The
Compassionate Friends assists families toward the positive resolution
of grief following the death of a child at any age and to provide
information to help others be supportive. They offer a safe place for
bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings to meet and talk freely
about your child and your grief issues. M.I.S.S. Foundation The
M.I.S.S. Foundation provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving
families through community volunteerism opportunities, public policy and
legislative education and programs to reduce infant and toddler death
through research and education. M.E.N.D. Mother's Enduring Neonatal Death M.E.N.D.
(Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is a Christian, non-profit
organization that reaches out to families who have suffered the loss of a
baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. HAND Helping After Neonatal Death HAND
is a resource network of parents, professionals, and supportive
volunteers that offers a variety of services throughout Northern
California and the Central Valley. SHARE Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc The
mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve
those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through
early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep They
offer the free gift of professional portraiture and remembrance
photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby. “The NILMDTS
Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their
Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor their child. It is
through Remembrance that a family can truly begin to heal.” They feel
that these images serve as an important step in the family’s healing
process by honoring their child’s legacy. Placenta Encapsulation – Wendy Diaz, PBi™ PES Encapsulation services are free for bereaving mothers. Wendy will also
add herbs to the capsules that help dry up the milk supply. Recommended Reading: Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby's Life Is Expected to Be Brief by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. |
Categories: Grief Counseling and Support Services, Information Center, Miscarriage or Stillbirth, Pregnancy Loss
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