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Sweet Pea ​Births
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One Size Does Not Fit All
| Posted on April 6, 2012 at 12:14 PM |
Hello, students and friends…Happy Passover and Happy Easter
to all. Here is a picture of our kiddos taken in time to share for
the holidays…some days, I still cannot believe we are parents to four children!  ©2012 Marriott Photography Which brings me to today’s topic – one size fits all
parenting. I saw a picture on Facebook
that raised my red flag radar. As an
advocate of natural birth and attachment parenting, I love seeing things that
reinforce my beliefs. At the same time,
I am concerned when people take those beliefs too far and attribute authority
that stretches the truth. Here is the claim I question – my issue is with the front of
the card (top half of the picture):  The things listed on the top half of the card may be true and I do not endorse the ideas ascribed to the Ezzos or Babywise. In fairness, I did some poking around
because while I wanted to believe it, I was incredulous that a professional organization would single out
one singular set of ideas to be harmful.
Maybe one pediatrician – but all of the “powers that be” agreed? Does it sound realistic to you that a group
made up of doctors could agree on any one thing in regards to parenting? I found the article that was published
against the Babywise principles, of particular concern is the concept of Parent-Directed Feeding (PDF). Yes, it was
in the AAP News. Fact check: the article
is in the commentary section. I also
found a pediatrician who published in favor of those principles. Surprise! It’s
the co-author of On Becoming Babywise
– he justifies his positions. To
balance it all out, I share three links from the “official” AAP in regards to breastfeeding practices – all the links
are below today’s post. My ire with the top half of the card is due in one part to the leap it takes in justifying their opinion on how parents should "parent". A commentary in a journal does not represent the whole organization. Secondly, based on the anecdotal experiences of our students: “one size fits all” parenting
is unrealistic. Just because it is
“peaceful” doesn’t make it fundamentally right for all families; just as being found in a
published book doesn’t make ideas fundamentally correct and unquestionable. I can support the second half of the card. As a believer in baby-led feeding, I absolutely nurse and
have nursed our children when they show the initial signs of hunger, and these
are outlined in the AAP Breastfeeding Policy statement, ©2003, Rev 2005:
The AAP recommended breastfeeding practice specifically states
that, "Crying is a late hunger sign". If you have been reading my posts, you know
I am not a fan of crying it out, either. I propose that neither PDF or crying it out follows the signals put in place by Mother Nature for a
mother to respond to her baby. And as
Dr. Bradley used to say, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature”. But – but – but – these beliefs and choices
work for me. As an instructor of The Bradley Method®, I advocate for
natural birth, and as an extension, other natural living choices. However, I am a firm believer that whatever
the situation or topic, it’s up to every family to choose what is right for
them. Our mantra to every parent is to make the decisions that lead to a Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby outcome - at birth and beyond. I have the luxury of living for my children since I have a
phenomenal support system. Nursing and
wearing my children in a carrier, as they need to be and want to be, works for
me. My husband bought into the concept
of exclusively breastfeeding thanks to our first Bradley Method® instructors
presentation on the advantages of breastfeeding; he has always helped in the
ways he can to support our choice to breastfeed. We also noticed that our babies, when close
to me, are much happier when awake and sleep longer when they are against my
chest. Bruss’ work affords us a
housekeeper so I can focus on the children’s needs and not our home. We have lots of other help from family and
friends – so living to breastfeed and wear our children works for me. While I am happy to hear that other moms can live for their
babies like I do, I know that this doesn’t work for everyone. And that is okay! Each family needs to work out a system that
works for their parameters. For example... what about the family that has to do
chores? Or the mom whose husband doesn’t
help to make the breastfeeding relationship an easy one? Or maybe the people around mom are
unsympathetic to the trials and tribulations of the bf learning curve - even with subsequent children, each relationship is unique. Consider the mom who has to or wants to work
outside of the home. These moms may have
to make different choices. If a mom needs
to choose her sanity or her sleep, some kind of schedule is a survival
mechanism for her. I cannot support Ezzo’s assertion that a baby’s night
feedings are trained out after 8 weeks of age.
However, as Dr. Bucknam points out, a mom that is sleep-deprived needs
to sleep in the interest of her long-term health. From my email exchanges with
Dr. Christina Smillie, I have learned that the respectful quantifier is
“appropriate developmental age…so here goes:
So parents – I ask you to trust your instincts. A child that receives love, food and sleep is
likely to thrive. What works for you when
it comes to feeding you child, or in regards to other childhood topics? Have you researched your choice so that you
know the pros and cons? Are you
comfortable with that decision or do you need to research some more? You are
the final arbiter between what works for your family – you get to choose what the
best approach is for you. No one else knows your baby and your situation like you do. When it comes to “experts” telling you what
to do, I offer the La Leche League idea: Treat it as a buffet – put the ideas
you like or what you think might work for you on your plate, and leave the rest
of the ideas on the table. How have you negotiated the sleep-feeding cycle with your
child(ren)? Link List: The card designer is quoting this article published in the
Commentary section of Vol.
14 No. 4 April 1, 1998, pp. 21: and another blog post on the subject: And here is the position paper written refuting the claim
that all pediatricians are opposed to Babywise written by the co-author of On
Becoming Babywise: What the AAP Statement organization actually says:
Disclaimer: The material
included on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®. |
Categories: Breastfeeding, Fussy baby, Informed Consent, Parenting
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3 Comments
Reply
Yolanda
3:04 AM on April 7, 2012
I'm confused. Are ezzo.info and Gary Ezzo two different entities? B/c the card says "...warns parents against use of . . . and related Gary Ezzo materials. Then it says "Learn more & find healthy alternatives at. . . ezzo.info." Whatever happened to common sense? Oh, I know, I've read its obituary in the past. Come on folks, if baby is hungry, it is feeding time (before they get frantic).
Reply
Krystyna
1:07 AM on April 11, 2012
Yolanda says...
I'm confused. Are ezzo.info and Gary Ezzo two different entities? B/c the card says "...warns parents against use of . . . and related Gary Ezzo materials. Then it says "Learn more & find healthy alternatives at. . . ezzo.info." Whatever happened to common sense? Oh, I know, I've read its obituary in the past. Come on folks, if baby is hungry, it is feeding time (before they get frantic).
ezzo.info is a site run by people who are opposed to the Ezzo books and teachings - you are right, it is confusing! They have their own site where they defend their positions...like we teach, there are two sides to everything; each family needs to do what is right for them. Sometimes it's one way or another, or their own way that draws from what works for them from each viewpoint.
Reply
Krystyna
1:13 AM on April 11, 2012
Yolanda says...
I'm confused. Are ezzo.info and Gary Ezzo two different entities? B/c the card says "...warns parents against use of . . . and related Gary Ezzo materials. Then it says "Learn more & find healthy alternatives at. . . ezzo.info." Whatever happened to common sense? Oh, I know, I've read its obituary in the past. Come on folks, if baby is hungry, it is feeding time (before they get frantic).
Update: In the interest of fairness, here is a link to the the card they are advertising now (4/9/12)...it has been modified to reflect the types of things that are against the AAP Breastfeeding policy instead of singling out one group. This is the kind of moderated, respectful approach that I would be likely to share with parents who ask about these methods. LINK: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150662981172671&set
=a.205256877670.145787.202794322670&type=1&theater
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